stormkeeper_lovedoris (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
stormkeeper_lovedoris) wrote2011-03-10 06:17 pm
stormkeeper_lovedoris) wrote2011-03-10 06:17 pm
Entry tags:
X-men Fic "Election Day" (3/8)
Title: Election Day (3/8)
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
stormkpr
Rating: PG-13 (or a very mild R)
Genre: Drama, General
Summary: The future of mutantkind – and the planet – is in serious jeopardy. Magneto has been killed, and Cortez is trying to organize mutants for a full-scale war. Rogue meanwhile is struggling with her feelings for Gambit.
Pairings: Most of my usual pairings are at least touched on here: Romy, RoLo, Jott, potential Iceman/Northstar
The latest chapter – plus links to previous chapters – are behind the cut.
Previous chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
I’ll say one good thing about the next couple of days. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to think much about the situation with Remy. I – along with the rest of the X-men – did exactly what we said we’d do and that meant a whole lotta work and busy time.
Seemed that campaigning on Asteroid M was largely a matter of giving speeches in the assembly hall. Cortez told us there wasn’t gonna be a debate. So mostly folks campaigning gave speeches and went around and talked to people. Those first two days I helped write, edit, and proofread speeches. The speeches were given by the Professor, Cyclops, and Storm. Cortez had a website, so I also helped get our own website up and running - only those folks on Asteroid M could access it). I helped design it and proofread a huge chunk of the content.
Xavier also had me making the rounds and talking to people – he said I was good at it, and I knew I was. My voice started to get hoarse pretty quick. I liked talking and listening to folks, but I also got tired of the ones who had already made up their minds against us and that was that.
Other than us X-men and Cortez, not too many other groups ran for the leadership position. At first, both Children of the Shadow and the Inner Circle were also in the running. Children of the Shadow dropped out after less than 48 hours and threw their support behind Cortez – your guess as to why is as good as mine.
The Inner Circle was still running but I gotta say that they had it worse than even we X-men did. People thought we were high an’ mighty, and filthy rich? The Inner Circle was a 100 times richer and more aloof, and folks knew it. They didn’t have the “Uncle Tom” rep that we did – they hated normal humans – but they also seemed to look down on everyone else too. So they were technically in the running but pretty soon we figured that they wouldn’t be as much of a threat. We kinda hoped that they might take some votes away from Cortez, figuring that folks who’d vote for the Inner Circle would’ve voted for Cortez before us.
X-Factor agreed early on not to run against us. I heard grumblings that some of their members – Lorna being the most vocal – were not thrilled with that decision. One day at dinner when our two teams ate together, I was right across from her and she didn’t look happy. But let’s just say that Storm and Forge had a great rapport and Storm got him to agree that his team would put their support behind us.
So we had X-Factor, the Morlocks, and the few members of Alpha Flight out there, talking to people and getting them behind us. They came to our speeches and clapped. They did good.
Xavier spoke with the US President and the UN. Pretty much the word was that, yeah, they were panicking and no one liked having so many mutants up on a space station. But I gotta say, things on that front weren’t the crisis they could’ve been. Cortez of course took plenty of credit for this in his speeches and such saying how it was he who kept the powers back on earth from waging war against the space station. Far as we knew he hadn’t even spoken to anyone outside of Asteroid M. Any peace-keeping was being done by the X-men. But some folks wouldn’t believe this no matter what we said.
We tried to pressure Cortez into having a debate. We felt confident that we could win it. First he said no, it wouldn’t be fair having three of us X-men leaders against him. We told him we would just have one up there debating with him. Then we told him that he could pick who that one was. He still didn’t want to do it. We talked among ourselves about making this an issue when we did our speeches, asking what the guy had to hide.
And honestly, that Cortez was something else. He was young and good-looking, and charismatic. We tried to talk to people about some of the bad stuff he did in the past. Some listened to us, others said that Cortez had warned that we’d tell lies since we were so power-hungry and desperate to win. A lot of the mutants here had spent the past several years in hiding and on the run from mutant-haters, so they weren’t up on what had really been happening the past few years and on some of the things Cortez had done. All they knew is that he gave them a shelter and a home, no questions asked and no problem if they couldn’t pay as long as they didn’t mind doing a little work. Unlike us X-men who, Cortez reminded folks at every opportunity, had spent the last several years living by ourselves in a mansion.
***
Two days of campaigning were over. We now had five days until the election. In a way I couldn’t believe that only two days had gone by. Like I said, my voice was getting hoarse and I was tired too. I’m a pretty out-going and friendly kinda gal but even I was just plain getting sick of talking to people and trying to convince them, and my eyes were getting tired of looking at my screen when I was reading through and editing a speech that one of the others had sent to my handheld. Trying to think of a new way to say the same thing got old pretty quick.
Then on that third day, it slowly dawned on us that something had happened. It wasn’t one of those things where there’s a big announcement or anything like that; we just kinda slowly became aware that something had happened. I try to think of the first time I realized it, and I guess it was when Cyclops asked me, “Can you make sure that no Alpha Flight people are at our speech at the Assembly Hall – the one at 1400 hours?”
“Sure,” I said. “But why?” It was a weird order.
Cyclops got a look on his face like he didn’t want to talk about it, then Beast came in and said he had a bunch of revisions to his speech, and the Professor beeped me asking me to get to the meeting room inside the library and “provide our perspective” to an impromptu assembly involving Cortez’s people. So off I went.
As the day went on, I pieced together what had happened. Apparently we X-men weren’t the only ones who had a member who had a secret. Word had gotten out that Northstar, one of the few remaining Alpha Flight people, was a homosexual. Like I said, people didn’t talk a lot about that stuff directly, not in those days. I’m not even sure how they found out though I later learned that he never really hid it that much, as most folks would’ve. So the word spread fairly fast and there were lots of gasps and raised eyebrows.
We couldn’t abide by anything that might cost us the election. We had to deal with it fast, and we did. I wasn’t there myself but apparently Cyclops told Mac in no uncertain terms that Alpha Flight had to disassociate from the X-men right away and completely. Mac apparently agreed and said that Northstar was going to pack his bags and take the first shuttle back down to the surface, tomorrow morning.
I didn’t know all this at the time, but I found out later on that Northstar could be pretty stubborn. But so could Mac. But Mac agreed with us that we couldn’t stand to lose this election. Plus I know that Northstar’s sister has always had some mental issues – I guess it runs in the family – and somehow that made him ready to back down and leave; maybe it was the thought that a scandal would make things worse for her that sent him packing.
We X-men didn’t have time to all sit together and eat a leisurely dinner in the dining hall anymore those days – which was a real shame if you ask me – but most of us were there that evening. There was a lot of whispering about what had happened, but we each had gotten the word that we shouldn’t really even talk about this. Cyclops and Alpha Flight had dealt with it quickly, any sort of scandal would capsize us, and at least this was over and done with. We weren’t sure how much the word had gotten out and we hoped it would blow right over.
During dinner I wondered if folks would send dirty looks or nasty words at Bobby, but I didn’t see him there – didn’t see him at all that day – so I couldn’t say.
Cortez still hadn’t agreed to a debate, and I spent the evening in one of the meeting rooms, working with Jubilee, Dazzler, and Cannonball on posters. No one else had done it but we decided to put up campaign posters. We’d have tried anything at that point.
Cyclops walked in to check on our progress. He didn’t make any time for small talk, barely exchanging a hello.
“Let me see this,” he said, and took the latest draft right outta Cannonball’s hands.
He hadn’t looked it over for but a second before he got ticked off. “This phrase at the bottom isn’t right,” Cyclops said. “The line is supposed to be `Vote for Your Future’”.
“Cyclops, this is the exact wording I got from Storm,” Dazzler said. She punched up Storm’s message on her device. “See?”
I looked at Dazzler and then at Cannonball. We all had tired eyes.
Cyclops sighed and then said, sounding mighty angry, “I spoke with her about this and I thought we agreed---“
Then he stopped himself. His voice came out sounding more how it’s supposed to. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like such a pill.”
“It’s okay, Cyke,” Jubilee said. “We’re all like way too tired and stressed out.”
I was impressed with the little lady’s comment. ‘Course I kept forgetting that she wasn’t 16 anymore.
“Yes,” Scott admitted, and for the first time that day he sounded warm. “I guess I’m not being a very good leader, but I have to admit that sometimes I feel like I’ve had it. Back on earth we had the FOH types who hated us for no good reason. Then up here it seems that half the mutant population hates us. And all we’re trying to do – all we’ve been trying to do for years -- is keep the peace and make things better for everyone!”
“I know,” I said. “It’s enough to drive a soul crazy.”
“I wouldn’t expect anyone to actually thank us for everything we’ve done,” Cyclops continued, “but I could sure do without the hate. FOH is bad enough – their latest blitz of propaganda before we came up here made my stomach turn. And Cortez’s speeches get nastier and nastier, and half the people we talk to treat us like we can have a communicable disease.”
I felt bad for Cyclops. My gut told me that he was upset owing to all the reasons he was sharing with us, but that this also must have something to do with him and Jean not being able to conceive. I’d had a few minutes with Jean earlier that day and one of the mutants we’d talked with on the campaign trail was a teenage girl and her baby. Jean looked just plain sad after we were done with her. I wonder if it made you feel inadequate, not being able to conceive. Like there was something wrong with you, even if you knew darn well that that thought wasn’t logical and it wasn’t your fault.
‘Course don’t get me started on what it feels like when you can’t touch anyone, least of all the man you love. The man who any of the 500 mutant women on your space station would love to get their hands on.
But back to that evening in the meeting room. Jubilee added, “And the Professor isn’t looking so good lately.”
“I think Magneto’s death is gonna hurt for a while,” I said. “In fact, I’d be mighty worried if his death didn’t bother the Professor.”
Cyclops shook his head. “This election might be the worst thing yet though. To lose everything we’ve fought for, and lose it to someone like Cortez whose ideas are so crazy.”
“But we haven’t lost it yet!” Cannonball said. “We have a fighting chance. I think almost half the people we talk to like us.”
I tried to keep Cannonball’s words in mind when I plodded back to my room late that night, pulled my blankets around me, and finally fell asleep.
***
I woke up early again the next day. Four days until the election now. Somehow it seemed like not enough time and – at the same time – as though we’d been campaigning for months.
I looked at the clock and thought of trying to sleep some more but already my brain got to thinking about everything that had to be done that day and I knew it wouldn’t let me sleep anymore. There weren’t enough hours to get everything done. So I got in the shower and got dressed. My stomach was making rude noises so I headed right for the dining hall.
I wished Remy were up that hour, but there was no sense even beeping him. I wanted to talk to him, hear how he thought things were going. You could always rely on him to look for the sunshine in the clouds. It was uplifting being around him.
I got another pang of sadness when I thought of how turning him loose would mean we wouldn’t spend much time together, and I wouldn’t get to see his smile or feel him relaxing when everyone else was all tense. I had to remind myself that it was for the best and then put it out of my head best as I could.
When I got to the dining room, I realized how early it really was because there were only a handful of people there, and Storm was one of them. I put some food on a tray and sat down next to her.
“Can’t wait for this coffee to kick in,” I muttered. “I’m mighty tired. How are you?” I asked.
But I kinda knew what the answer would be beforehand. Storm didn’t look tired at all. Her eyes looked energized and a bit sparkly. But you know Storm, she wasn’t about to let loose. Not yet anyway.
“I am well, Rogue,” she said. “I rose early because we have such a busy day ahead of us.”
“I know,” I said.
“Cortez is stepping up his smear campaign already. He is not happy with the posters we put up yesterday evening. Already I have heard his people getting the word out that he doesn’t have the money to make posters, unlike us ‘wealthy X-men’.”
“That man is pure slime,” I said, shaking my head. “Those posters didn’t exactly require a fortune to make. Took more time than money, anyway.” I paused. “You think people are buyin’ his latest smear tactic?”
“I don’t think we’ll know until later on today,” Storm said. “We will have to find out what our fellow inhabitants of Asteroid M say about it.”
“Have you heard much more about the Alpha Flight thing?” I asked. I made my voice real quiet in case any of the half dozen folks in the cafeteria might overhear.
“No,” Storm said. “I know that Northstar is leaving this morning. I think that we might have dodged a bullet there. But there is another potential problem on the horizon. I spoke with Gambit a few hours ago. He said that the Inner Circle might very well drop out of the race.”
“Oh no. That’d leave just Cortez and us. The folks who would’ve voted for the Inner Circle…”
“…almost certainly will vote for Cortez instead of us,” Storm finished.
“Great.” I dug my fork into my scrambled eggs.
My thoughts changed track. “So what on earth were you doing talking to Remy a few hours ago? I know he stays up late but don’t you need any sleep, girl?” I asked.
“I am fine. I don’t feel the least bit tired right now.”
I’d been so wrapped up with the election that I hadn’t had much time to really talk to Storm. But I remembered that evening in the rec room – heck, it hadn’t been that long ago -- when Forge came in and spoke with Storm.
“So….anything exciting going on with you?” I asked.
Storm don’t open up the way she should. I practically had to wrestle it out of her but she finally – finally – decided to talk to me about it. Maybe she figured it beat talking about depressing things like Cortez’s latest claims against us or the Inner Circle dropping out of the race.
So it seems that she and Forge had been “spending time together”. Seems also that Wolverine had noticed and had been getting all sweet with Storm. I had to pry and pry some more to get Storm to say what she thought and I finally determined that she was glad for all the attention and she liked both fellows. She didn’t say it, but I wondered if she was having trouble making up her mind. Nearly fainted dead away at getting this much information from her. She must’ve really wanted to talk about it.
I told her I was glad for her. And I was. Except that I was jealous too, and I guess I showed it – I don’t hide emotions too well, I know it. Storm’s voice got real gentle and she asked, “How are things with Remy? Are you still going to do…what you spoke about before we left the mansion?”
I’ve written in here that I’d let Storm in on my plan to end things with Remy, my plans to tell him to go find someone else. I guess it makes sense that she’d wonder where things were at especially given that she and Gambit were friends.
I opened my mouth to answer, when Scott and Jean walked in. The Professor followed just a second later. They came right up to us and that ended Storm’s and my little discussion. We strategized and planned out the rest of the day.
And as serious as Scott and Jean were during all the planning, I watched them out of the corner of my eye – I always did that – and could still see that they were so happy together. They didn’t have it easy what with not being able to have a baby, but anyone could still see how much they loved each other. Then you got Storm sitting on my other side, all happy because she had two men interested in her and it was just a matter of time before she’d decide which one to go with.
And then there was the fact that I was keeping Remy from this kind of happiness. Because of me, he wasn’t experiencing this kind of love and excitement and comfort in his life. If I really loved the man, wouldn’t I want him to have all this?
And besides, like I’d mentioned before, we were now living on a space station with 1,000 other mutants – at least half of them female. Remy was surrounded by temptation. Women found him irresistible and I sure couldn’t blame them. Didn’t he deserve to get out there and enjoy himself with a lady, maybe fall in love with one? One he could actually touch.
I guess you could say that this wasn’t the best time to end it with him, what with the election coming up. But so what? Our lives had been in a tailspin ever since we joined the X-men. In fact, I knew I’d always used that as an excuse for putting this off, saying that we had too much going on, the X-men needed Gambit too much and I couldn’t upset him like this, and that I’d just deal with it when things slowed down. But things never did slow down, and I didn’t think they were likely to in the near future either.
No more putting things off. I had to end it and I resolved to do just that, that very day.
***
After breakfast I was busy with - you guessed it – more election stuff, but I kept in the back of my head what I had to do that day. Late morning I texted Gambit and wrote, “You up yet, Swamp Rat?”
He texted back a few minutes later, “Still in bed. If u need me, I get up.”
I texted back, “Don’t hurry on my account, just wondering,” and went off to do something else.
A group of us X-men went to talk to our liaison on Cortez’s team, Tess. We wanted to go over the procedures they had in place to make sure the elections were fair and that votes were counted correctly. It’d be mighty easy for Cortez’s group to rig the whole thing if they wanted. So we spent some time going over the voting machines and processes. We suggested having poll watchers – like they do for elections back in the good old USA – at each polling station. Tess at first didn’t seem to like the idea (for some reason she’d never heard of it), but we gently pushed and got her to at least say she’d take the idea to Cortez.
It was such a weird situation. The guy who runs the space station was the guy we were campaigning against! Didn’t help things.
Remy had texted me during the meeting and asked if I wanted to grab something to eat with him. I couldn’t answer him till our meeting was out. He’d gone ahead and eaten already which was fine with me. I tracked him down in the dining room and I pulled together every bit of gumption that I could muster.
“Can we go talk inside my room?” I asked him quietly. “I got something private to talk about with you.”
I’d thought that maybe the idea of being invited to my room would’ve gotten Remy all excited. But he read people too well, me especially, and he could probably see real easily that I didn’t look so happy. In fact, I’m sure I looked like death warmed over because that’s how I felt.
“What’s wrong, chere?” he asked quietly.
His voice sounded so sad and worried that I knew that this would be even harder than I’d thought. There was pain in that voice of his. This might be one of the worst days of my life.
I silently reminded myself of all the reasons I was doing this, how it could never work out for us, how I was keeping him from being happy like Cyke and Jean. I turned towards the door, tilted my head, and said, “Come with me.”
***
The personnel quarters here didn’t give you much space, like I’ve mentioned, but I took a seat on the bed and gestured for Remy to sit in the chair. We hadn’t spoken on the way to my room. I wondered if he knew already what I was gonna say.
“Well, Remy, I ain’t gonna beat around the bush,” I said, the second we were seated. “This has been botherin’ me for a long time. I-I know you care about me a lot and –“
I couldn’t believe it. My voice cracked. I couldn’t speak. I was gonna cry.
I tried for a split second to hold it in, swallow it down. But then I caught a glimpse of Remy’s face and that brought it on. My eyes watered, my insides convulsed, and I was crying.
This was bad. Couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. Well, yeah I did. It was that day we thought we were going to lose Xavier. Hadn’t cried since then; it just wasn’t something I did - I tell you if you’d grown up with my daddy then you’d have learned to hold things in too.
Remy had held me back then, that day that we thought the Professor was gonna die, and he got up and held me again this day. He didn’t say much other than what you’d expect: some whispering, some gentle words, and something in French. He found a handkerchief from somewhere and gave it to me.
I wiped my tears, blew my nose, and did the best I could to get a hold of myself. Remy’s arms around me felt so good. They were warm and comforting, and I didn’t want to rip myself away from the hug. But I had to, and somehow I did.
“May I venture a guess as to what dis is about?” he asked.
I nodded. I still wasn’t sure how my voice was going to sound.
“You t’ink we should end dis and not be a couple. You want Gambit to find someone else, since you t’ink I’d be happier dat way. You also noticed dat dere are a lot of good-looking mutant ladies on Asteroid M and you t’ink you’re holding me back.”
He said the words just all straightforward and he didn’t have emotion in his voice when he said them. You may be thinking after the way I’d just broken down that those words would break me again, but they didn’t. Somehow – I don’t know how or why – what Remy said made me feel all the more strong.
After all, he’d had to have had those same thoughts and that’s why the words had been so easy for him to say. So he too must’ve thought that I held him back sometimes. I told that to myself silently, and then I mustered up my strength to speak.
“That’s right, Swamp Rat,” I said, and my voice was strong again. I could do this. “Exactly what you said. I think I been holding you back for too long now. I think I’d rather see you be happy then feel like I’m the one keeping you from something better. I’ve seen how happy it makes Scott and Jean to have each other. And heck, look at how happy Storm is given that she’s got a couple guys chasing after her now.”
I was rambling and made myself get back to the point. I reached for Remy’s hands and held them, and my voice got soft again. I made it sound full of honey. “We don’t have a real future, Remy, and you gotta know that. I think bein’ just friends would be the best for both of us.” Then I paused.
“Besides,” I went on after a second. “if I have been holding you back, maybe it’s time you got out there, found yourself a woman you could really be with. Maybe you’re used to havin’ it tough and maybe I’ve been kinda a crutch to keep you from bein’ happy like Scott and Jean. But I say that it ends today.”
Remy listened respectfully to me. He was always good about that. You could sit next to him and talk, say your peace, or just vent and he’d always listen. Saying goodbye to all this was still excruciating, even if my gumption was better than it had been a few minutes ago.
“Do you care what I t’ink about dis, chere?” he asked quietly.
“Of course I care!” I said, probably too harshly.
“Remy t’inks we should stay together. You ain’t been no crutch for me. Remy’s happy now, with you. An’ I t’ink you’re happier with me than you’ll be without me. So dere no reason to split up.”
I shook my head. “I just don’t see it that way. I think we’ll both be better off. You need a girl you can touch.”
“What make you t’ink I need a girl I can touch?” he asked. “Remy’s touched enough girls in his life. Sex be a wonderful t’ing, but Remy’s old enough to know dat love is better.”
I blushed a little. Back in those days people didn’t talk a lot about this subject and you didn’t say the word “sex” much. I’d never exactly sat down with him before and told him that I felt like crap that I couldn’t sexually fulfill him. Pardon my swearing.
“I hear you say that,” I managed, “but I ain’t sure I actually believe that. It’s kinda normal to want to touch someone. And besides. You can find a woman who you can touch and who you can love. It just won’t be me.”
“So, what’d you have us do, chere? You want to be friends at all or you wanna try to not see each other at all?”
“It’ll be mighty hard to never see each other, given the whole X-men thing. And if Cortez gets elected, given that we’ll be fighting two wars. But I think that for now we should try to spend some time apart.”
“You care at all what I want?”
“I told you, Remy, of course I care! You’re all I think about most of the time. But I also know that it takes two people to make a relationship work, and if one of them says it’s over then the other can’t exactly force them to stay in it!”
“Dat be true. I am telling you, Rogue, dat both of us be happier together. Breaking up with me is a big mistake.”
I knew he was serious because he said those last few sentences slowly, without contractions, and he called me by my codename instead of “chere”. He had this intense look in his eyes and I knew he really wanted me to listen to him.
“Maybe you’re right, Remy. But will you try it my way? I’m serious. Get out and date someone else. All this campaigning is stressful and maybe having a girl will make you feel better. Just try it and open up your mind. I think there’s a girl out there who you can touch and who you can fall in love with.”
“And Remy’s supposed to sit by and not care dat you be miserable?”
“I won’t be miserable! I’ll be happy that you’re happy. I’ll feel good that I ain’t holding you back. Mark my words, you and me will both wish we’d split ages ago, Swamp Rat.”
Gambit was quiet for a while. I could tell he was thinking. He also looked –well, unsettled. But finally he spoke again.
“You’re right about one t’ing, chere. Remy don’t go where he’s not wanted, and if you don’t want me to be your man anymore, den I won’t. You want me to keep my distance from you, den I will. Remy not be no stalker. So dat can be dat. But,” he said, and he paused for a second, “Remy be right ‘bout something else. We ain’t gonna be happier dis way. Dat I know. So, may I make a proposition?”
“Of course,” I said. I was a bit taken aback by that. I hadn’t expected him to be exactly happy with what I had to say, but I’d kinda thought he’d just sit back and accept it like he usually does with most stuff.
“Let’s talk again in three months. I am marking dis date down. In three months I want you to say if you be any happier, and I do the same. If neither of us is happier, den I t’ink we get back together again.”
I thought about what he said. I also knew full well that I wouldn’t be any happier, but he wasn’t a mind-reader and you can’t prove someone else’s level of happiness. So I played along.
“Six months,” I said. “Give it six months. Three ain’t enough.”
A second or two later we were shaking hands on our deal, though that gesture also seemed ridiculous too. Remy then kissed my glove and said goodbye.
I wanted to lay back down on my bed, crawl under the covers, and cry. I wanted to spend the whole afternoon like that. But my device beeped soon after Remy left, and it was Cyclops. An emergency had come up.
TO BE CONTINUED
Reviews are always appreciated.
Click here for the next chapter!
Author:
stormkprRating: PG-13 (or a very mild R)
Genre: Drama, General
Summary: The future of mutantkind – and the planet – is in serious jeopardy. Magneto has been killed, and Cortez is trying to organize mutants for a full-scale war. Rogue meanwhile is struggling with her feelings for Gambit.
Pairings: Most of my usual pairings are at least touched on here: Romy, RoLo, Jott, potential Iceman/Northstar
The latest chapter – plus links to previous chapters – are behind the cut.
Previous chapters:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
I’ll say one good thing about the next couple of days. I was so busy that I didn’t have time to think much about the situation with Remy. I – along with the rest of the X-men – did exactly what we said we’d do and that meant a whole lotta work and busy time.
Seemed that campaigning on Asteroid M was largely a matter of giving speeches in the assembly hall. Cortez told us there wasn’t gonna be a debate. So mostly folks campaigning gave speeches and went around and talked to people. Those first two days I helped write, edit, and proofread speeches. The speeches were given by the Professor, Cyclops, and Storm. Cortez had a website, so I also helped get our own website up and running - only those folks on Asteroid M could access it). I helped design it and proofread a huge chunk of the content.
Xavier also had me making the rounds and talking to people – he said I was good at it, and I knew I was. My voice started to get hoarse pretty quick. I liked talking and listening to folks, but I also got tired of the ones who had already made up their minds against us and that was that.
Other than us X-men and Cortez, not too many other groups ran for the leadership position. At first, both Children of the Shadow and the Inner Circle were also in the running. Children of the Shadow dropped out after less than 48 hours and threw their support behind Cortez – your guess as to why is as good as mine.
The Inner Circle was still running but I gotta say that they had it worse than even we X-men did. People thought we were high an’ mighty, and filthy rich? The Inner Circle was a 100 times richer and more aloof, and folks knew it. They didn’t have the “Uncle Tom” rep that we did – they hated normal humans – but they also seemed to look down on everyone else too. So they were technically in the running but pretty soon we figured that they wouldn’t be as much of a threat. We kinda hoped that they might take some votes away from Cortez, figuring that folks who’d vote for the Inner Circle would’ve voted for Cortez before us.
X-Factor agreed early on not to run against us. I heard grumblings that some of their members – Lorna being the most vocal – were not thrilled with that decision. One day at dinner when our two teams ate together, I was right across from her and she didn’t look happy. But let’s just say that Storm and Forge had a great rapport and Storm got him to agree that his team would put their support behind us.
So we had X-Factor, the Morlocks, and the few members of Alpha Flight out there, talking to people and getting them behind us. They came to our speeches and clapped. They did good.
Xavier spoke with the US President and the UN. Pretty much the word was that, yeah, they were panicking and no one liked having so many mutants up on a space station. But I gotta say, things on that front weren’t the crisis they could’ve been. Cortez of course took plenty of credit for this in his speeches and such saying how it was he who kept the powers back on earth from waging war against the space station. Far as we knew he hadn’t even spoken to anyone outside of Asteroid M. Any peace-keeping was being done by the X-men. But some folks wouldn’t believe this no matter what we said.
We tried to pressure Cortez into having a debate. We felt confident that we could win it. First he said no, it wouldn’t be fair having three of us X-men leaders against him. We told him we would just have one up there debating with him. Then we told him that he could pick who that one was. He still didn’t want to do it. We talked among ourselves about making this an issue when we did our speeches, asking what the guy had to hide.
And honestly, that Cortez was something else. He was young and good-looking, and charismatic. We tried to talk to people about some of the bad stuff he did in the past. Some listened to us, others said that Cortez had warned that we’d tell lies since we were so power-hungry and desperate to win. A lot of the mutants here had spent the past several years in hiding and on the run from mutant-haters, so they weren’t up on what had really been happening the past few years and on some of the things Cortez had done. All they knew is that he gave them a shelter and a home, no questions asked and no problem if they couldn’t pay as long as they didn’t mind doing a little work. Unlike us X-men who, Cortez reminded folks at every opportunity, had spent the last several years living by ourselves in a mansion.
***
Two days of campaigning were over. We now had five days until the election. In a way I couldn’t believe that only two days had gone by. Like I said, my voice was getting hoarse and I was tired too. I’m a pretty out-going and friendly kinda gal but even I was just plain getting sick of talking to people and trying to convince them, and my eyes were getting tired of looking at my screen when I was reading through and editing a speech that one of the others had sent to my handheld. Trying to think of a new way to say the same thing got old pretty quick.
Then on that third day, it slowly dawned on us that something had happened. It wasn’t one of those things where there’s a big announcement or anything like that; we just kinda slowly became aware that something had happened. I try to think of the first time I realized it, and I guess it was when Cyclops asked me, “Can you make sure that no Alpha Flight people are at our speech at the Assembly Hall – the one at 1400 hours?”
“Sure,” I said. “But why?” It was a weird order.
Cyclops got a look on his face like he didn’t want to talk about it, then Beast came in and said he had a bunch of revisions to his speech, and the Professor beeped me asking me to get to the meeting room inside the library and “provide our perspective” to an impromptu assembly involving Cortez’s people. So off I went.
As the day went on, I pieced together what had happened. Apparently we X-men weren’t the only ones who had a member who had a secret. Word had gotten out that Northstar, one of the few remaining Alpha Flight people, was a homosexual. Like I said, people didn’t talk a lot about that stuff directly, not in those days. I’m not even sure how they found out though I later learned that he never really hid it that much, as most folks would’ve. So the word spread fairly fast and there were lots of gasps and raised eyebrows.
We couldn’t abide by anything that might cost us the election. We had to deal with it fast, and we did. I wasn’t there myself but apparently Cyclops told Mac in no uncertain terms that Alpha Flight had to disassociate from the X-men right away and completely. Mac apparently agreed and said that Northstar was going to pack his bags and take the first shuttle back down to the surface, tomorrow morning.
I didn’t know all this at the time, but I found out later on that Northstar could be pretty stubborn. But so could Mac. But Mac agreed with us that we couldn’t stand to lose this election. Plus I know that Northstar’s sister has always had some mental issues – I guess it runs in the family – and somehow that made him ready to back down and leave; maybe it was the thought that a scandal would make things worse for her that sent him packing.
We X-men didn’t have time to all sit together and eat a leisurely dinner in the dining hall anymore those days – which was a real shame if you ask me – but most of us were there that evening. There was a lot of whispering about what had happened, but we each had gotten the word that we shouldn’t really even talk about this. Cyclops and Alpha Flight had dealt with it quickly, any sort of scandal would capsize us, and at least this was over and done with. We weren’t sure how much the word had gotten out and we hoped it would blow right over.
During dinner I wondered if folks would send dirty looks or nasty words at Bobby, but I didn’t see him there – didn’t see him at all that day – so I couldn’t say.
Cortez still hadn’t agreed to a debate, and I spent the evening in one of the meeting rooms, working with Jubilee, Dazzler, and Cannonball on posters. No one else had done it but we decided to put up campaign posters. We’d have tried anything at that point.
Cyclops walked in to check on our progress. He didn’t make any time for small talk, barely exchanging a hello.
“Let me see this,” he said, and took the latest draft right outta Cannonball’s hands.
He hadn’t looked it over for but a second before he got ticked off. “This phrase at the bottom isn’t right,” Cyclops said. “The line is supposed to be `Vote for Your Future’”.
“Cyclops, this is the exact wording I got from Storm,” Dazzler said. She punched up Storm’s message on her device. “See?”
I looked at Dazzler and then at Cannonball. We all had tired eyes.
Cyclops sighed and then said, sounding mighty angry, “I spoke with her about this and I thought we agreed---“
Then he stopped himself. His voice came out sounding more how it’s supposed to. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to sound like such a pill.”
“It’s okay, Cyke,” Jubilee said. “We’re all like way too tired and stressed out.”
I was impressed with the little lady’s comment. ‘Course I kept forgetting that she wasn’t 16 anymore.
“Yes,” Scott admitted, and for the first time that day he sounded warm. “I guess I’m not being a very good leader, but I have to admit that sometimes I feel like I’ve had it. Back on earth we had the FOH types who hated us for no good reason. Then up here it seems that half the mutant population hates us. And all we’re trying to do – all we’ve been trying to do for years -- is keep the peace and make things better for everyone!”
“I know,” I said. “It’s enough to drive a soul crazy.”
“I wouldn’t expect anyone to actually thank us for everything we’ve done,” Cyclops continued, “but I could sure do without the hate. FOH is bad enough – their latest blitz of propaganda before we came up here made my stomach turn. And Cortez’s speeches get nastier and nastier, and half the people we talk to treat us like we can have a communicable disease.”
I felt bad for Cyclops. My gut told me that he was upset owing to all the reasons he was sharing with us, but that this also must have something to do with him and Jean not being able to conceive. I’d had a few minutes with Jean earlier that day and one of the mutants we’d talked with on the campaign trail was a teenage girl and her baby. Jean looked just plain sad after we were done with her. I wonder if it made you feel inadequate, not being able to conceive. Like there was something wrong with you, even if you knew darn well that that thought wasn’t logical and it wasn’t your fault.
‘Course don’t get me started on what it feels like when you can’t touch anyone, least of all the man you love. The man who any of the 500 mutant women on your space station would love to get their hands on.
But back to that evening in the meeting room. Jubilee added, “And the Professor isn’t looking so good lately.”
“I think Magneto’s death is gonna hurt for a while,” I said. “In fact, I’d be mighty worried if his death didn’t bother the Professor.”
Cyclops shook his head. “This election might be the worst thing yet though. To lose everything we’ve fought for, and lose it to someone like Cortez whose ideas are so crazy.”
“But we haven’t lost it yet!” Cannonball said. “We have a fighting chance. I think almost half the people we talk to like us.”
I tried to keep Cannonball’s words in mind when I plodded back to my room late that night, pulled my blankets around me, and finally fell asleep.
***
I woke up early again the next day. Four days until the election now. Somehow it seemed like not enough time and – at the same time – as though we’d been campaigning for months.
I looked at the clock and thought of trying to sleep some more but already my brain got to thinking about everything that had to be done that day and I knew it wouldn’t let me sleep anymore. There weren’t enough hours to get everything done. So I got in the shower and got dressed. My stomach was making rude noises so I headed right for the dining hall.
I wished Remy were up that hour, but there was no sense even beeping him. I wanted to talk to him, hear how he thought things were going. You could always rely on him to look for the sunshine in the clouds. It was uplifting being around him.
I got another pang of sadness when I thought of how turning him loose would mean we wouldn’t spend much time together, and I wouldn’t get to see his smile or feel him relaxing when everyone else was all tense. I had to remind myself that it was for the best and then put it out of my head best as I could.
When I got to the dining room, I realized how early it really was because there were only a handful of people there, and Storm was one of them. I put some food on a tray and sat down next to her.
“Can’t wait for this coffee to kick in,” I muttered. “I’m mighty tired. How are you?” I asked.
But I kinda knew what the answer would be beforehand. Storm didn’t look tired at all. Her eyes looked energized and a bit sparkly. But you know Storm, she wasn’t about to let loose. Not yet anyway.
“I am well, Rogue,” she said. “I rose early because we have such a busy day ahead of us.”
“I know,” I said.
“Cortez is stepping up his smear campaign already. He is not happy with the posters we put up yesterday evening. Already I have heard his people getting the word out that he doesn’t have the money to make posters, unlike us ‘wealthy X-men’.”
“That man is pure slime,” I said, shaking my head. “Those posters didn’t exactly require a fortune to make. Took more time than money, anyway.” I paused. “You think people are buyin’ his latest smear tactic?”
“I don’t think we’ll know until later on today,” Storm said. “We will have to find out what our fellow inhabitants of Asteroid M say about it.”
“Have you heard much more about the Alpha Flight thing?” I asked. I made my voice real quiet in case any of the half dozen folks in the cafeteria might overhear.
“No,” Storm said. “I know that Northstar is leaving this morning. I think that we might have dodged a bullet there. But there is another potential problem on the horizon. I spoke with Gambit a few hours ago. He said that the Inner Circle might very well drop out of the race.”
“Oh no. That’d leave just Cortez and us. The folks who would’ve voted for the Inner Circle…”
“…almost certainly will vote for Cortez instead of us,” Storm finished.
“Great.” I dug my fork into my scrambled eggs.
My thoughts changed track. “So what on earth were you doing talking to Remy a few hours ago? I know he stays up late but don’t you need any sleep, girl?” I asked.
“I am fine. I don’t feel the least bit tired right now.”
I’d been so wrapped up with the election that I hadn’t had much time to really talk to Storm. But I remembered that evening in the rec room – heck, it hadn’t been that long ago -- when Forge came in and spoke with Storm.
“So….anything exciting going on with you?” I asked.
Storm don’t open up the way she should. I practically had to wrestle it out of her but she finally – finally – decided to talk to me about it. Maybe she figured it beat talking about depressing things like Cortez’s latest claims against us or the Inner Circle dropping out of the race.
So it seems that she and Forge had been “spending time together”. Seems also that Wolverine had noticed and had been getting all sweet with Storm. I had to pry and pry some more to get Storm to say what she thought and I finally determined that she was glad for all the attention and she liked both fellows. She didn’t say it, but I wondered if she was having trouble making up her mind. Nearly fainted dead away at getting this much information from her. She must’ve really wanted to talk about it.
I told her I was glad for her. And I was. Except that I was jealous too, and I guess I showed it – I don’t hide emotions too well, I know it. Storm’s voice got real gentle and she asked, “How are things with Remy? Are you still going to do…what you spoke about before we left the mansion?”
I’ve written in here that I’d let Storm in on my plan to end things with Remy, my plans to tell him to go find someone else. I guess it makes sense that she’d wonder where things were at especially given that she and Gambit were friends.
I opened my mouth to answer, when Scott and Jean walked in. The Professor followed just a second later. They came right up to us and that ended Storm’s and my little discussion. We strategized and planned out the rest of the day.
And as serious as Scott and Jean were during all the planning, I watched them out of the corner of my eye – I always did that – and could still see that they were so happy together. They didn’t have it easy what with not being able to have a baby, but anyone could still see how much they loved each other. Then you got Storm sitting on my other side, all happy because she had two men interested in her and it was just a matter of time before she’d decide which one to go with.
And then there was the fact that I was keeping Remy from this kind of happiness. Because of me, he wasn’t experiencing this kind of love and excitement and comfort in his life. If I really loved the man, wouldn’t I want him to have all this?
And besides, like I’d mentioned before, we were now living on a space station with 1,000 other mutants – at least half of them female. Remy was surrounded by temptation. Women found him irresistible and I sure couldn’t blame them. Didn’t he deserve to get out there and enjoy himself with a lady, maybe fall in love with one? One he could actually touch.
I guess you could say that this wasn’t the best time to end it with him, what with the election coming up. But so what? Our lives had been in a tailspin ever since we joined the X-men. In fact, I knew I’d always used that as an excuse for putting this off, saying that we had too much going on, the X-men needed Gambit too much and I couldn’t upset him like this, and that I’d just deal with it when things slowed down. But things never did slow down, and I didn’t think they were likely to in the near future either.
No more putting things off. I had to end it and I resolved to do just that, that very day.
***
After breakfast I was busy with - you guessed it – more election stuff, but I kept in the back of my head what I had to do that day. Late morning I texted Gambit and wrote, “You up yet, Swamp Rat?”
He texted back a few minutes later, “Still in bed. If u need me, I get up.”
I texted back, “Don’t hurry on my account, just wondering,” and went off to do something else.
A group of us X-men went to talk to our liaison on Cortez’s team, Tess. We wanted to go over the procedures they had in place to make sure the elections were fair and that votes were counted correctly. It’d be mighty easy for Cortez’s group to rig the whole thing if they wanted. So we spent some time going over the voting machines and processes. We suggested having poll watchers – like they do for elections back in the good old USA – at each polling station. Tess at first didn’t seem to like the idea (for some reason she’d never heard of it), but we gently pushed and got her to at least say she’d take the idea to Cortez.
It was such a weird situation. The guy who runs the space station was the guy we were campaigning against! Didn’t help things.
Remy had texted me during the meeting and asked if I wanted to grab something to eat with him. I couldn’t answer him till our meeting was out. He’d gone ahead and eaten already which was fine with me. I tracked him down in the dining room and I pulled together every bit of gumption that I could muster.
“Can we go talk inside my room?” I asked him quietly. “I got something private to talk about with you.”
I’d thought that maybe the idea of being invited to my room would’ve gotten Remy all excited. But he read people too well, me especially, and he could probably see real easily that I didn’t look so happy. In fact, I’m sure I looked like death warmed over because that’s how I felt.
“What’s wrong, chere?” he asked quietly.
His voice sounded so sad and worried that I knew that this would be even harder than I’d thought. There was pain in that voice of his. This might be one of the worst days of my life.
I silently reminded myself of all the reasons I was doing this, how it could never work out for us, how I was keeping him from being happy like Cyke and Jean. I turned towards the door, tilted my head, and said, “Come with me.”
***
The personnel quarters here didn’t give you much space, like I’ve mentioned, but I took a seat on the bed and gestured for Remy to sit in the chair. We hadn’t spoken on the way to my room. I wondered if he knew already what I was gonna say.
“Well, Remy, I ain’t gonna beat around the bush,” I said, the second we were seated. “This has been botherin’ me for a long time. I-I know you care about me a lot and –“
I couldn’t believe it. My voice cracked. I couldn’t speak. I was gonna cry.
I tried for a split second to hold it in, swallow it down. But then I caught a glimpse of Remy’s face and that brought it on. My eyes watered, my insides convulsed, and I was crying.
This was bad. Couldn’t remember the last time I’d cried. Well, yeah I did. It was that day we thought we were going to lose Xavier. Hadn’t cried since then; it just wasn’t something I did - I tell you if you’d grown up with my daddy then you’d have learned to hold things in too.
Remy had held me back then, that day that we thought the Professor was gonna die, and he got up and held me again this day. He didn’t say much other than what you’d expect: some whispering, some gentle words, and something in French. He found a handkerchief from somewhere and gave it to me.
I wiped my tears, blew my nose, and did the best I could to get a hold of myself. Remy’s arms around me felt so good. They were warm and comforting, and I didn’t want to rip myself away from the hug. But I had to, and somehow I did.
“May I venture a guess as to what dis is about?” he asked.
I nodded. I still wasn’t sure how my voice was going to sound.
“You t’ink we should end dis and not be a couple. You want Gambit to find someone else, since you t’ink I’d be happier dat way. You also noticed dat dere are a lot of good-looking mutant ladies on Asteroid M and you t’ink you’re holding me back.”
He said the words just all straightforward and he didn’t have emotion in his voice when he said them. You may be thinking after the way I’d just broken down that those words would break me again, but they didn’t. Somehow – I don’t know how or why – what Remy said made me feel all the more strong.
After all, he’d had to have had those same thoughts and that’s why the words had been so easy for him to say. So he too must’ve thought that I held him back sometimes. I told that to myself silently, and then I mustered up my strength to speak.
“That’s right, Swamp Rat,” I said, and my voice was strong again. I could do this. “Exactly what you said. I think I been holding you back for too long now. I think I’d rather see you be happy then feel like I’m the one keeping you from something better. I’ve seen how happy it makes Scott and Jean to have each other. And heck, look at how happy Storm is given that she’s got a couple guys chasing after her now.”
I was rambling and made myself get back to the point. I reached for Remy’s hands and held them, and my voice got soft again. I made it sound full of honey. “We don’t have a real future, Remy, and you gotta know that. I think bein’ just friends would be the best for both of us.” Then I paused.
“Besides,” I went on after a second. “if I have been holding you back, maybe it’s time you got out there, found yourself a woman you could really be with. Maybe you’re used to havin’ it tough and maybe I’ve been kinda a crutch to keep you from bein’ happy like Scott and Jean. But I say that it ends today.”
Remy listened respectfully to me. He was always good about that. You could sit next to him and talk, say your peace, or just vent and he’d always listen. Saying goodbye to all this was still excruciating, even if my gumption was better than it had been a few minutes ago.
“Do you care what I t’ink about dis, chere?” he asked quietly.
“Of course I care!” I said, probably too harshly.
“Remy t’inks we should stay together. You ain’t been no crutch for me. Remy’s happy now, with you. An’ I t’ink you’re happier with me than you’ll be without me. So dere no reason to split up.”
I shook my head. “I just don’t see it that way. I think we’ll both be better off. You need a girl you can touch.”
“What make you t’ink I need a girl I can touch?” he asked. “Remy’s touched enough girls in his life. Sex be a wonderful t’ing, but Remy’s old enough to know dat love is better.”
I blushed a little. Back in those days people didn’t talk a lot about this subject and you didn’t say the word “sex” much. I’d never exactly sat down with him before and told him that I felt like crap that I couldn’t sexually fulfill him. Pardon my swearing.
“I hear you say that,” I managed, “but I ain’t sure I actually believe that. It’s kinda normal to want to touch someone. And besides. You can find a woman who you can touch and who you can love. It just won’t be me.”
“So, what’d you have us do, chere? You want to be friends at all or you wanna try to not see each other at all?”
“It’ll be mighty hard to never see each other, given the whole X-men thing. And if Cortez gets elected, given that we’ll be fighting two wars. But I think that for now we should try to spend some time apart.”
“You care at all what I want?”
“I told you, Remy, of course I care! You’re all I think about most of the time. But I also know that it takes two people to make a relationship work, and if one of them says it’s over then the other can’t exactly force them to stay in it!”
“Dat be true. I am telling you, Rogue, dat both of us be happier together. Breaking up with me is a big mistake.”
I knew he was serious because he said those last few sentences slowly, without contractions, and he called me by my codename instead of “chere”. He had this intense look in his eyes and I knew he really wanted me to listen to him.
“Maybe you’re right, Remy. But will you try it my way? I’m serious. Get out and date someone else. All this campaigning is stressful and maybe having a girl will make you feel better. Just try it and open up your mind. I think there’s a girl out there who you can touch and who you can fall in love with.”
“And Remy’s supposed to sit by and not care dat you be miserable?”
“I won’t be miserable! I’ll be happy that you’re happy. I’ll feel good that I ain’t holding you back. Mark my words, you and me will both wish we’d split ages ago, Swamp Rat.”
Gambit was quiet for a while. I could tell he was thinking. He also looked –well, unsettled. But finally he spoke again.
“You’re right about one t’ing, chere. Remy don’t go where he’s not wanted, and if you don’t want me to be your man anymore, den I won’t. You want me to keep my distance from you, den I will. Remy not be no stalker. So dat can be dat. But,” he said, and he paused for a second, “Remy be right ‘bout something else. We ain’t gonna be happier dis way. Dat I know. So, may I make a proposition?”
“Of course,” I said. I was a bit taken aback by that. I hadn’t expected him to be exactly happy with what I had to say, but I’d kinda thought he’d just sit back and accept it like he usually does with most stuff.
“Let’s talk again in three months. I am marking dis date down. In three months I want you to say if you be any happier, and I do the same. If neither of us is happier, den I t’ink we get back together again.”
I thought about what he said. I also knew full well that I wouldn’t be any happier, but he wasn’t a mind-reader and you can’t prove someone else’s level of happiness. So I played along.
“Six months,” I said. “Give it six months. Three ain’t enough.”
A second or two later we were shaking hands on our deal, though that gesture also seemed ridiculous too. Remy then kissed my glove and said goodbye.
I wanted to lay back down on my bed, crawl under the covers, and cry. I wanted to spend the whole afternoon like that. But my device beeped soon after Remy left, and it was Cyclops. An emergency had come up.
TO BE CONTINUED
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