stormkeeper_lovedoris: (S and K from lusciouspandora)
stormkeeper_lovedoris ([personal profile] stormkeeper_lovedoris) wrote2006-08-01 10:22 pm

I feel a bit like an idiot

I'm not sure quite how I feel right now. I'm at a 4 day planning meeting with my department and - long story short - there are very icky group dynamics and I've never felt that I fit in too well with these folks. Today at dinner they asked me to join them afterwards at the bar, something that I never do because: 1) I'm not a drinker, hardly ever drink booze, and 2) the group dynamics are icky, like I said. I don't know why I agreed to join them at the bar; maybe it was because I was happy that they asked and deep down I do want to fit in.

So long story short, I joined them, drank too much, made somewhat of an ass of myself. Maybe not a total ass but a partial ass. Everyone was friendly and smiling but in my gut I don't feel this went well.

One of them did say that I was always welcome to join them and never had to drink booze, that I could just have water. That was nice.

Well, done is done. Hopefully my credibility isn't too shot with this group. And like I said, I never fit in that well to start with so...how much worse could it be?

I guess I'll see tomorrow.

[identity profile] stormkpr.livejournal.com 2006-08-02 11:43 am (UTC)(link)
Either way, you have a professional track record to call on, so don't hesitate to reinforce your performance should anyone question you.

*nods* There's always that to fall back on. My performance always gets rated highly by the leadership of the department, so hopefully one night of me being tipsy in public can't damage a 10 year career.