Ugh

 
So I wrote a few entries ago about how I'm in fandom heaven, loving my show, my OTP, loving writing fanfic, etc. I still do but I know I'm also at the point where I'm obsessed and that's not good. I've got to get this into a healthier headspace.

To make matters worse, some jerk on Reddit is slamming me. I called him out (nicely) on a sexist comment, he returns with vitriol and doesn't listen to any fact I offer. And worse, I'm getting downvoted. I decided yesterday evening to just stay the hell off Reddit for now and walk away. Taking a deep breath....you rarely get anything but slings and arrows for calling out sexism, but it's still the right thing to do. And given what I wrote in the first paragraph, maybe it's good to stay off of Reddit for a while anyway. I'm spending enough mental energy on this fandom. Also, it's not the first time I called someone out on Reddit for sexism/racism/homophobia, and getting slammed and downvoted does often happen. I survive it each time though. 

And yeah, the eternal issue of me wishing that someone would read and like my fanfic, that's still there. I like writing it so much and I just wish that others would like reading it. (One kind person left 2 good reviews. I try to just appreciate that. And I got 11 kudos. That's something). 

Oh, and funny thing - someone left me a comment on Livejournal, giving nice feedback for an X-men fic I posted 8 years ago. When that happens, I can only smile and shake my head at myself. I crave feedback of course, but you know, I really want it for my current fic and not something that was posted 8 years ago. :) Fic feedback goes to a particular email address of mine, I get excited, and then bam....it's for an old fic. On the other hand, hey beggars can't be choosers!!

EDIT - You know, I feel a bit better now. The weather is great, I went to the farmer's market, did a shift at the Democrats' table, had a lot of good conversations with people. I guess just a reminder that the cure for Fandom Blues is to get out and do something that's not fandom