The state of the Marianne

 
Well, here's two ways to look at my life now.

One way - 
Lord what a mess. My country is turning into Russia but without the ballet.

And I am in fandom brain rot, spending so much time shipping two real people, minor celebrities, who I need to keep reminding myself will likely not be together a year from now or sooner. 

Another way -
Yeah, my country is in a really bad place right now but I have limited control over that. So I am doing what I can do. Went to a Zoom meeting with Indivisible, to prep for an in-person meeting on Monday.  I will fight back in the ways that I can while not freaking out.

And fandom brain rot has been my life for nearly half a century. I will be sad when they break up, but I will survive. Meanwhile this is "just" a fun hobby.

How I feel at any given moment is anywhere between these two!

I keep telling myself that when they break up, I will sing the Whitney Houston lyrics like I did with Alaska/Sharon ("The ride with you/was worth the fall"). There's already been so many fun moments....the lip synch kiss they did, Lydia winning a challenge. all the fun TikToks and edits and articles, plus my fanfic. Just trying to savor those.

Also, I think I'd benefit from engaging more with real life and spending less time on social media looking for new Tik Tok edits of these two. Maybe I can try to wean myself away from it all gradually. Hell maybe I will ask the AI for tips on this.