I'm sorry to say this, but I didn't like it. I'm not sure about the characterization, dare I say too naive at times. I understand the need to explain some things, but I get the feeling they're kids in the kindergarten rather than mutants (what's with all the interviewing on Erik's part), and I understand that sex might be important in a relationship (for some people), but frankly it's not essential in my opinion, because you love a person, a mind and yeah, maybe body too, but still 'allowed fornicating', because you can't have sex with your spouse at the moment, doesn't work for me, sorry. Where is the logic in this?
It doesn't work that way.
This kind of glide over characterization is painful to read as well :(
You have some good moments, but I think you need to work more on your characteristics and reasoning behind certain actions of the characters.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-07-19 07:17 am (UTC)It doesn't work that way.
This kind of glide over characterization is painful to read as well :(
You have some good moments, but I think you need to work more on your characteristics and reasoning behind certain actions of the characters.