I'm sorry for the brutality, but I do believe constructive criticism is needed to move forward.
The fact is, that if you want to prove that Azazel and Riptide are meant together/in love with each other, I think they could wait with sex till they both can do it without any pain, instead of looking for a surrogate sex partner. Because otherwise it makes Azazel look like a desperate horndog that doesn't give a crap, who he sleeps/has sex with. It doesn't bode well to his character, or rather lack of it.
It makes the whole relationship rather shallow and worthless, and reduces Riptide to nothing else, but a convenient body to have sex with when he's well. Otherwise it's sorry hun, need to fuck, have you seen someone, who could bend over for me?
That's one thing that kind of hit me in the face, because I feel no love devotion there, it's flat sand doesn't seem much like a relationship.
The second one of my doubts is, the way Erik interviewed them. I understand they need to get to know each other, but it goes too smooth, like a job interview when you smile and pretend to like things you don't, because frankly no one is that understanding and it bothers me that neither one of them (be it Erik or Riptide, or Azazel) questions the way it goes (like in kindergarten when a teacher asks little Jo what she likes to do after school) and that Riptide acts like house-broken wife without her own brain/opinion in the most degrading way there is, which is kind of a killer in characteristics.
I'm sorry for being harsh, but it just how I see it.
no subject
Date: 2011-07-19 09:18 am (UTC)The fact is, that if you want to prove that Azazel and Riptide are meant together/in love with each other, I think they could wait with sex till they both can do it without any pain, instead of looking for a surrogate sex partner. Because otherwise it makes Azazel look like a desperate horndog that doesn't give a crap, who he sleeps/has sex with. It doesn't bode well to his character, or rather lack of it.
It makes the whole relationship rather shallow and worthless, and reduces Riptide to nothing else, but a convenient body to have sex with when he's well. Otherwise it's sorry hun, need to fuck, have you seen someone, who could bend over for me?
That's one thing that kind of hit me in the face, because I feel no love devotion there, it's flat sand doesn't seem much like a relationship.
The second one of my doubts is, the way Erik interviewed them. I understand they need to get to know each other, but it goes too smooth, like a job interview when you smile and pretend to like things you don't, because frankly no one is that understanding and it bothers me that neither one of them (be it Erik or Riptide, or Azazel) questions the way it goes (like in kindergarten when a teacher asks little Jo what she likes to do after school) and that Riptide acts like house-broken wife without her own brain/opinion in the most degrading way there is, which is kind of a killer in characteristics.
I'm sorry for being harsh, but it just how I see it.