stormkeeper_lovedoris

Lots of books by dudes this time!

The Comfort Book by Matt Haig - Got this from a Little Free Library. It’s “nothing fancy”, just a collection of very short chapters, each with some wisdom on getting through life. I found plenty in here to dog-ear and make a note of. Much as I’d like to pass this along to someone else, I think I will keep it by my bedside and return to it occasionally. Grade: 7

The Words That Remain by Senio Gardel – Fiction about a gay man in Brazil who comes out, is rejected by his family, and is determined to find his own path. He’s illiterate, and before he flees town, his lover gives him a letter. Decades later, he is finally learning to read and he still has the letter. I had trouble with the long, almost stream-of-conscious paragraphs/dialog blocks. And too many of the characters sounded like each other; I don’t think the author differentiated them well. (The book was a National Book Award Winner though, so I guess I totally missed something.) Grade: 4

Fuck Feelings by Michael Bennett and Sarah Bennett – A book of practical advise written by a therapist and his comedian daughter. They break it down into different challenges. Each chapter has a section on “Here’s what you wish for and can’t have” and “Here’s what you can actually do”. There’s a lot more to it than that obv. The advice seemed very practical and useful. Grade: 7

Failure is Not Not An Option by Patrick Hinds – The subtitle is “How the chubby gay son of a Jesus-obsessed lesbian found love, family, and podcast success….and a bunch of other stuff.” This was a very fun memoir. The author came from a financially-strapped family and apparently hit it big with a true-crime podcast. I loved his anecdotes. The book is funny, easy, and he loves lesbians. I actually wanted more! Grade: 8

These Precious Days by Ann Patchett – I listened to this collection of essays on audio, and it’s read by the author. Damn she’s a good storyteller! Wikipedia says she’s 10 years older than I am, and I felt like I was in the hands of a wise, cool, successful older sister full of tips and good tales. Okay, not every essay is a winner (I skipped the ones on Snoopy and on her husband’s flying airplanes hobby – meh). But there are so many great ones in here. Especially when she writes about being childless, and people’s reactions to it. And her lifelong friendship with Tavia, and how an encounter with Tom Hanks led to a friendship that changed her life. Grade: 7

Future Tense by Tracy Dennis-Tiwary – Short book that I listened to on audio, about understanding anxiety and even using it and making friends with it. Though I can’t say the book changed my life – and damn the author uses a ton of examples from her family and kids (yawn) – perhaps this is the type of book that you just page through and adopt a few things that feel useful to you. One idea that resonated for me: A lot of anxiety is wrapped up in a failure to deal with uncertainty. Get better at handling uncertainty and the anxiety will likely decrease. Grade: 6

The Vaster Wilds by Lauren Groff – I think I need to read everything she has written. I had another of her novels, “Matrix”, on a recent book report. This one is equally amazing. The story: a few hundred years ago in what is now the northeastern US, an unnamed indentured servant is brought with her “mistress” from England, their settlement slowly starves, she witnesses something horrible, and she flees. There’s so much more than the plot here, though I could not put the book down as I had to see if and how she would survive in “the vast wilds” alone. There is gorgeous writing (I love when the minister is described as beautiful and looking like “a feasted cat”), thoughts on love and life and identity, and a few very skilled flashbacks that give us the girl’s backstory and that feel like punches to the gut. Grade: 9

Build the Life You Want by Arthur C Brooks and Oprah Winfrey – Overall, I’d recommend this book. There’s a lot of good wisdom in here about ways to do what the title says. A lot of it rehits stuff from other books I’ve read, but that’s okay. It’s good to have reminders. Some aspects of the book were annoying. Like when the authors (and I want to say author, singular, as I am going to guess that Brooks wrote more of this than Winfrey) say that if you’re searching for a life partner, looks for compatibility over things like political views. That part actually makes a degree of sense to me, but more than once in the book, the authors say that politics is trivial. Okay, yeah, cishet white dude, maybe for YOU it is. There’s also a whole section on faith, which the authors begin by adamantly stating they are not trying to convert you to their beliefs, but then there be a whole lot of Christianity in this section. They do cover meditation and a broader view of spirituality, but I can’t help but to feel like this book is written for people like Mr Brooks. (Yo, cishet white Christian dudes). I’m actually disappointed that Oprah has her name attached to it? The authors could’ve done a better job at casting a wider net, I guess. And yet despite all of that….well, like I said, there’s some good wisdom in here too. Maybe approach the book like a cafeteria and just take the parts that make sense to you. Grade: 5

Bluebeard’s Castle by Anna Biller – What is this book. A feminist fantasy/horror? A send-up of gothic romance and mystery? A subversive take on modern romance? I don’t know, and all I can say is that I initially enjoyed the ride but the book and its protagonist quickly grew grating. Grade: 2

Class: A Memoir of Motherhood, Hunger, and Higher Education by Stephanie Land – This is the author of the best-seller “Maid” (which Netflix turned into a miniseries). Stephanie Land seems to have the magic talent for hooking a reader! The book covers her final year of college when she’s raising a 5 year old, dealing with an abusive ex who has joint custody, barely able to keep a roof over her head, deals with government agencies who really never seem like they want to help at all, and gets pregnant and decides to keep the baby. It’s so wonderful to get a glimpse into someone’s life and mind. I’d have liked to read a chapter on her life after “Maid” but unfortunately we didn’t get that. I honestly don’t think I’d like Land as a person that much, but hey that’s not the point and she sure knows how to write! Grade: 8

Well, I had 4 days where I was unable to do much other than lay on the sofa and read, so.....

Smile: The Story of a Face by Sarah Ruhl – Why are some memoirs so approachable and engaging and others are not? I still don’t know. The author writes of her time as a mother. During pregnancy, she gets Bell’s palsy and is told she likely will recover within three months – but she doesn’t. She can barely move her face, can’t smile at her babies. In this short-ish memoir, Ruhl weaves in so much: spirituality, the medical system, being a mother and a playwright, sexism….and her thoughts are always worth reading. Grade: 7

The Lioness by Chris Bohjalian – Another novel by the writer who is known for centering women and for having engaging storylines. In this book, a famous 1960s actress and several close family and friends head off for an African safari, but they get a lot more than they bargained for when gunmen ambush their party. Are the gunmen just after ransom money, or is there more going on than that? There’s a nice plot twist at the end but otherwise the novel was a bit slow-going. And kinda pointless, sorry to say. (Also, spoiler alert but I think it’s ok since I don’t think anyone reading this report will read the book. The only Black member of the party and the only gay member of the party both get killed. Uh, no thank you Chris?) Grade: 3

Without Children: The Long History of Not Being A Mother by Peggy O’Donnell Heffington – History books can be a bit of a slog, but this one was really really good. I wanted to use my own words to say why I liked this so much, but failing that, I will quote from a review: “….(the author) shows that many of the reasons women are not having children today are ones they share with women in the past: a lack of support, their jobs or finances, environmental concerns, infertility, and the desire to live different kinds of lives. Understanding this history—how normal it has always been to not have children, and how hard society has worked to make it seem abnormal—is key, she writes, to rebuilding kinship between mothers and non-mothers, and to building a better world for us all.” Extra shoutout to the author really getting DEI right; she was careful to not just make this about white, middle-class women's lives. Grade: 7

The Risk It Takes to Bloom by Raquel Willis – Memoir by the Black trans activist and writer. I love that Willis’ book is never dull, and she keeps it moving along briskly, much as her own life seems to move. A lot of her prose is really clunky though. (Oh my god if she uses the word “gaggle” one more time, I am going to drink. I truly hate that word. I’ve only ever seen it used to describe groups of women, girls, or queers and it’s so trivializing. And Willis uses it no less than 7 times). Also, I know that this is a memoir but Willis seems truly self-absorbed. Like she’s describing leading a march and thinking that everyone watching the march is trying to clock her. Come on, most of the people watching the march aren’t going to give any given participant more than a glance or two. The whole book is full of moments like that. But maybe I am being too hard on Willis, and putting anything else aside, I know that I can always be a better ally to Black and trans people. And as for this book, well I needed an engaging, solid read for the days when I was stuck at home sick, and this one delivered. Grade: 7

How I Became a North Korean by Krys Lee – This novel tells three people’s stories: two are escapees from North Korea and one is an alienated Chinese-American teenager. It’s absorbing and sad, and it has themes of found family and hope even in the face of hopelessness. Definitely drew me in and was worth reading. Grade: 8

Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely – Got this from a Little Free Library, and it was published back in 2008. At first I thought that I’d listened to this on audio some years ago, but as the book went on, much of it seemed new? I think? Anyway, the researcher author has the premise that we humans are often irrational and in a predictable way. He has conducted numerous studies that illustrate humans doing things like: giving estimates that are largely influenced by suggestion (or by an “anchor number”), making bad decisions when aroused, being ridiculously swayed by “free” offers and by placebos, and much more. Awareness seems to help, he argues. It was an enlightening read. Grade: 6

Matrix by Lauren Groff – What to say about this one? It is incredible. Circa 1100 CE, a young woman named Marie is sent to an impoverished abbey to take over as prioress. She’s also uncouth, ugly, unmarriageable, and her royal relatives are eager to be rid of her. But Marie is something of a force of nature. The book is part historical fiction, part feminist fairy tale. I don’t even know how to describe the rest of it other than to quote from reviewers who marvel at the author’s “freakish talent” and say “a page by page pleasure as we soar with her”. Must go read everything else by the same author! Grade: 9

The Confidence Men by Margalit Fox – I am forever craving a book that grabs me and forces me to keep reading, and I was so glad to find this one! I read its 217 pages in two days. It’s the true story of how two prisoners of war during World War I engineered their escape from a Turkish prison camp – by using an Ouija board and pretending to be mediums and telepaths. It was a detailed, long-term, multi-pronged web they wove. (And spoiler alert: it mostly works, though by the time they made it to England, the war was almost over). I’d love for someone to make a movie of this, but no one would believe it. The author meticulously did all her research though. Grade: 8

How We Live Is How We Die by Pema Chodron – The author is famous for her writings on Buddhism and how to apply them to our lives. I’d say that reading about Buddhism is never exciting or a page turner. <smile> This book is best enjoyed in increments of 3 or 4 pages; right before bedtime is good. Lots of wisdom here, even if it’s boring too. Grade: 6

Learned by Heart by Emma Donoghue – Historical fiction based on a real-life love affair between two young women circa 1805 in England. I listened to it on audio. There is a positively staggering amount of detail in this novel. The two main characters, Eliza Raine and Anne Lister, meet at a boarding school and the author has included so much information about the lives and times of these girls. I can’t decide whether to be impressed or annoyed! The level of detail certainly makes the book feel real but it also bogs it down. I don’t know if I’d have had the patience to read this as a paper book and I’m glad I could just listen to it while I drove. I sure don’t regret spending time in this world either. Grade: 7 (It’s still historical fiction plus lesbians, so I can’t really mark it any lower!)

Also, side note about the above: I keep a long list of TV shows to watch and often pick the next one at random. "Gentleman Jack" came up, I'm watching it now, and it is a show based on the Anne Lister of the above book. She left detailed diaries, had many lovers of which Eliza was apparently the first, and is referred to as histories first modern lesbian. It's just a coincidence that I read a fictional book about her at the same time I started watching the show about her too. Apparently her diaries were written in code, but once the code was broken, a full biography of a lesbian living 200 years ago came to life.

Olga Dies Dreaming by Xochitl Gonzalez – A novel taking place in modern times. There’s a lot going on here, but basically Olga is Puerto Rican, living in New York, running a successful business. Her mother left her and her older brother Prieto to join the revolution. Prieto is a closeted politician who is being blackmailed. It’s a good story. The writing is solid. Just not a stunner, I guess. Grade: 5

The Exiles by Christina Baker Kline – I so badly wanted a book to binge, a good piece of historical fiction to take me away. This book accomplished that! The story involves two women in the 1840s: an Englishwoman falsely accused of theft and packed away to Australia as a convict, and an Indigenous girl who has been taken from her family and made into the plaything for a pair of settlers. A sad story obviously but there are some inspiring moments. Grade: 8

Blue Collar CEO by Mandy Rennehan – A memoir by a very driven Canadian woman who taught herself the world of construction and started her own business when she was about 18. Loved her drive and determination, and she is openly lesbian on top of that! At times the memoir is a bit of a humblebrag but it’s still pretty good. Grade: 6

Punch Me Up To The Gods by Brian Broome – I listened to this one on audio and it’s a memoir. Growing up in the 80s, the author is Black, gay, and poor. The book skips from one memory to another….like it’s vignettes from the author’s life but the glue to put the pieces together is missing. Elliot Page’s memoir on my last report was like this too, skipping around in time. I guess I just need more….flow? More of a beginning, middle, and end. Or something to make it less ‘here are things that happened to me at various points in time’. Despite all that, it is well-written and it kept me sufficiently engaged. Broome has several striking metaphors, and he even turns a chapter of the book over to his mom to let her tell her own story. The racism that Broome experienced, the pressure to be this macho manly guy, the unrelenting poverty, drabness, and loneliness…it’s really sad. (Yes, I know….”poverty, racism, and homophobia are not exactly cause for dancing with joy, so what do you want from the author??”). Grade: 5

Together by Vivek Murthy – So here’s something kinda funny. One of the actors from The 100 who I like has an online book club. I don’t often read the books she suggests, but this one popped up and it looked great, and my library had it available electronically. And I read it in 5 days. It was awesome! It’s a bit similar to “The Good Life” by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz which was two book reports ago for me. J The subject of the book is loneliness and the power of human connection. The book is full of practical and even heartwarming ideas on how to build connection – both on a one-on-one level as well as on broader levels. For example, Murthy shows examples of curricula that teach kids to connect with and support each other. This could have been a depressing topic but instead the book is downright inspiring. Grade: 8

Pageboy by Elliot Page – Memoir by the brilliant actor. My initial reactions are: I hate that he didn’t go with a chronological layout of the book and damn he has experienced some horrible stuff in his life. His father and stepmother were total jerks growing up, and now they follow and ‘like’ tweets by people with a global platform who attack Page for being trans. What assholes!! Anyway, back to the book itself, it’s a good memoir and I admire Page a lot but it’s not a compelling read and it really should have been. I think the skipping-around-in-time format ruined it. Grade: 6

$2.00 A Day: Living on Almost Nothing In America by Kathryn Edin and H. Luke Shaefer - Listened to this one on audio. The authors share case studies of about 5 families who are among the poorest of the poor in the US. They also weave in a bit about the history of things like welfare reform and public policy designed to help people financially. Yeah, it’s depressing and enraging but it’s never boring either. Grade: 8

The Bird King by G. Willow Wilson - Historical fiction combined with magical realism. Fatima is a favorite concubine in what was Granada, a few centuries ago. She has a decent life, hanging with her GBF Hassan who is a map-maker with special powers. But The Inquisition lands on their doorstep, and Fatima and Hassan have to make a run for it. Oh, I SO wanted this book to be good! But there was too much magic and way too many times the day was miraculously saved. It also gets really boring about a third of the way in and never recovers. Grade: 3

The Queer Evangelist by Cheri Dinovo - This is a short memoir by a Canadian politician. She has had quite a life! She was something of a rebel growing up, using drugs, hanging with sex workers, doing her own thing. At one point she decides to start a company and it’s a huge success and she gets rich, but then the 2008 crash happens and she loses everything. She finds religion – but a progressive, pro-LGBTQ religion. She becomes a pastor and runs for office and gets elected. Whew, that’s a lot! As for the book itself, weirdly it loses a lot of steam once she takes office. Grade: 6

Finding Normal by Alexa Tsoulis-Reay – This is just the type of sink-your-teeth-into nonfiction that I enjoy. The journalist author did some extensive research and interviews, talking to people who live outside of what is considered ‘normal’. There’s a section on people who are polyamorous, one on people who are asexual, etc. The second half of the book, the author warns us, crosses the line over to those doing illegal things like “consensual incest”. I had to skip another section, one I found too icky to read. But the book is fast-paced and really interesting. Grade: 7

Less by Andrew Sean Greer – A novel taking place in modern times. The protagonist is a semi-successful writer who is about to turn 50, his long-time sort-of partner has split with him and is marrying someone else, and so he decides to accept a number of invitations and travel around the world. This is one of those books where I kept kinda wanting to put it aside but always shrugged and decided to keep reading. The author is skillful, no doubt – and there was a good twist in the final three pages, but that was too little too late. Grade: 4

United by Cory Booker – Memoir by the US Senator (and former mayor of Newark). It’s easy to be cynical about memoirs by politicians. But I really like Booker and this is a great book. He truly is fueled by a passion for social justice. He spent years living in Newark’s rundown public housing – by choice, so he could learn about the people living there and their needs. He learned from the activists fighting to make their communities better despite poverty and racism, and was often dressed down by them and he shares the mistakes he made and what he learned. I loved hearing about how he approached social change and politics, and I was never bored. Grade: 7

Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke – I saw this book at the local indie bookstore and on impulse, I bought it. I read it in just a couple days and found myself dog-earring pages and repeating segments to myself. There’s so much in here to learn from. Like how we live in an era of almost unlimited access to high-reward stimuli. How a balance between pleasure and pain might be helpful to our brains. Tips on how we can better pursue contentedness and connectedness. I will be re-reading parts of this book many times. Grade: 8

Quietly Hostile by Samantha Irby – What does one say about any of Samantha Irby’s four books? She is hilarious. She has been through shit. She can describe the most mundane stuff and make you either nod or laugh or copy paste it to your BFF (as I have done). You know? I think I should go back and re-read her earlier stuff too since she’s this good. Grade: 8

The Good Life by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz – Loved this book a lot. It is based on literally decades of research. Apparently some Harvard team did life-long interviews with men in the Boston area starting in the 1940s. They later expanded it (though their sample is largely white, as they admit). They check in with all the participants every two years to examine what makes a happy, healthy life. The answers won’t surprise anyone. Connections, working on relationships (friendships, family, romantic partner, etc), looking for meaningful work. This is one of those books that is both feel-good and useful. Extra shout-out to the authors for including some LGBTQ examples. Grade: 8

Only one work of fiction this time. I will aim to pick up fiction next.

Reckoning by V (Formerly Eve Ensler) – When I cracked open this book, for a split second the cynic in me asked whether this was just an attempt to ride the coattails of “The Vagina Monologues”. After all, I’ve read other works by the same author that came out after the monologues, and some of them fell flat. But this book is moving, at times shocking, and always expertly crafted. It’s a series of essays and a few poems. Whether it is snippets from V’s life or her time on the road visiting rape survivors in Congo, the author always has a ton to say and it truly is worth listening. Grade: 8

The Spies of Shilling Lane by Jennifer Ryan – Historical fiction taking place during WWII. The protagonist is not a very popular woman in her English town. She was just divorced, and she’s bossy. She decides to travel to London where her estranged daughter has gotten a job helping the war effort, and they find they have more in common than they thought. Grade: 5 (perfectly enjoyable historical fiction but nothing outstanding)

To Be Taught If Fortunate by Becky Chambers – I don’t read a lot of science fiction. I’ve always just preferred to watch it instead of read it, but this was a novella of 150 pages and it sounded good. Our narrator is part of a four-person team sent to survey various planets. The transmissions they receive from earth indicate that things are far worse back home than they’d thought in the decades since they’ve been away. The writing is good and the story is grounded in science; this author has absolutely done her research to write “science fact”. But from the perspective of the plot, the novella cuts off abruptly. It feels really unfinished. Grade: 5

Listening Is An Act of Love edited by Dave Isay – If you’re familiar with NPR’s Story Corps, you know what this is. A compilation of story corps interviews: two people who get into a booth and interviewed each other. Sometimes short essay collections just don’t hit the mark. You don’t get enough time with any one writer or essay to get into it. But this was really good! The folks who talked about 911 brought me to tears, and so did the ones who talked about Katrina. As it says on the back of the book, this is a glance at the lives of some of the people who live in this vast, diverse country. I’d honestly say that if someone wanted to try to start getting their arms around the lives of “ordinary” Americans who lived during the past 80 years, this is a very good place to start. Grade: 8

Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol Dweck – This book was published nearly 20 years ago, and I think it’s considered one of the best primers on fixed mindset versus growth mindset. There are lots of examples and ideas on how to move from the fixed mindset to one of growth. The author also admits it’s not easy. Most of us want success etc just by being who we are. So yeah, not an easy switch….and also at times the book is a bit boring, but its key messages are important. Grade: 7
(Edited in later....) I keep thinking more about this topic. Like when I was in school, I was never good at math. I didn't hate myself for it, but it was frustrating. Looking back however, I can see that I did aim for....growth. I worked hard and I often had a tutor. Never made me into a math whiz but perhaps it helped instill habits of hard work that have served me well all my life? Anyway, definitely a topic worth thinking of.

Haven't been writing as much, so here are another crop of books already!

Sea of Tranquility by Emily St John Mandel – The author of Station Eleven. Full stop right there. She has written another novel that is brilliant, wondrous, and captivating. I am left in awe of her. Grade: 9

Stash: My Life in Hiding by Laura Cathcart Robbins – Memoir. Robbins had a rough go of it in life, bad family growing up, abuse at the hands of a mother’s boyfriend, dropping out of school. It looks like she starts to get things together, she starts a PR firm, marries a mega-rich Hollywood producer, has two kids she loves. But she starts taking Ambien for sleep problems, her marriage falls apart, she gets addicted, and she is going to have to fight to not lose custody of her kids or lose the share of her husband’s wealth that she has earned. Very engrossing book. My biggest takeaways: 1) How is it that 50 years after the feminist movement that kicked into gear in the late 1960s, women are still doing this? Creating their entire personalities around their husbands, living like shells or trophy wives as Robbins admitted that she did at one point? (Rhetorical question). 2) Once again, I can only say how lucky I am to have avoided getting addicted to benzos. Because this author, like others I have read, makes it clear how brutal the withdrawal is. She says something akin to ‘I missed what it was like to actually sleep. I’d get an hour or two each night, usually full of nightmares. My brain never just shut off’. Grade: 8

Journal of a Black Queer Nurse by Britney Daniels – Just what it sounds like. Daniels lays out her life as a masculine-presenting, Black queer nurse. The racism she encounters day in and day out is exhausting. She’s a travel nurse who has worked in hospitals all over California and Illinois, so it’s not like what she experienced was confined to any specific area. Definitely a book that was hard to put down. Grade: 7

Nobody Somebody Anybody by Kelly McClorey – A novel taking place in modern times. The narrator is an unreliable one. She’s suffering depression, delusion, and loneliness. She’s trying to make her way through life but she keeps self-sabotaging. I realize these sentences aren’t exactly glowing, but the book was one of those that is easy and fast to read. It was good. Grade: 7

Feel Free: Essays by Zadie Smith – I listened to this on audio; it’s a series of essays. The range of topics Smith covers is very impressive. Everything including pop culture, racism, comparing the dance styles of Gene Kelly versus Fred Astaire, and a hundred others. This is not a page-turner (or whatever the audio equivalent to that is) and I’d probably not have read it were it not on audio. But it was a good companion for my car trips; in fact, it reminded me of one of the benefits of audio books. Being stuck in traffic can “force” you to listen to a book that you’d never sit down and read. Smith has good insights, and bonus for beautiful narration by the voice actor; her voice was rich and velvety. Smith is so attuned to the world and social problems and people and politics. Some of the topics are depressing – climate change, gentrification – and Smith isn’t going to sugarcoat anything. Other essays were deep dives on topics that don’t interest me (Joni Mitchell, Key & Peele….they all sound like wonderful people but I don’t need 45 minutes on each). I think by the end I was basically listening to this for the voice actor! Someone cast her in something asap. Grade: 7

Emergent Strategy by adrienne maree brown - A good book for organizers with lots of innovative strategy and ideas. It’s centered around the notion that complex systems and patterns arise from a series of relatively simple interactions. It’s an over-simplification but basically the idea is that how you and I live in the world can make real changes. I have….lots more to say about some of the things in this book that I loved and some of the things I didn’t love, but IDK. Maybe a topic for another time. Grade: 6

In Memoriam by Alice Winn – I was very glad to read this! Solid historical fiction centered around a male/male couple. I recently read some good books along those lines by KJ Charles, but her stories have a supernatural element. This one is straight-forward history, taking place during WWI. The two main characters meet at an elite British school, each one feels something for the other but is afraid to tell him, and it soon becomes clear that they are both going to need to fight in the war. The first 20 pages or so were a bit rocky but then the story takes off. Well done all around! Grade: 8

Z is for Zachariah by Richard C. O’Brien – I first read this book when I was a teenager, and recently I came across a mention that it was made into a movie. I recalled that I had the book it but I didn’t remember too many details, so I decided to re-read it. A nuclear war has taken place, but a teenage girl is living alone in a valley that escaped the fallout. And then one day, a man in a radiation suit reaches the valley and our narrator’s life will never be the same. The last 50 pages or so are definitely page-turners. Grade: 7

The Naked Don’t Fear the Water by Matthieu Aikins – The author is a journalist who wants to see what life is like for Afghans to try to emigrate to Europe. He is helped by the fact that although his own heritage is Japanese and European, he looks strikingly Afghan (there’s even a picture on the back cover to prove it). He joins his Afghan friend Omar and the two of them try to illegally leave Afghanistan. This book is completely fascinating. A look at the life of refugees and smugglers, of refugee camps on Lesbos and escape plans and prisons and world politics. I had to admire the way Aikins spends years with Omar and their fellow travelers, determined to journey with them and see what their world is like. Grade: 8

They Called Us Enemy by George Takei - A graphic memoir, mostly about the famous Star Trek actor’s time in a WWII Japanese internment camp, where he spent about four years as a child along with his parents and two siblings. It was really good, with sharp, sad images and “just enough” prose. It did leave me wanting a bit more about Takei’s life afterwards, though he does give a few glimpses. I read it on the plane to Savannah, and it can be easily read in a sitting or two. Grade: 8

Moving Forward: A Story of Hope, Hard Work, and the Promise of America by Karine Jean-Pierre - I must once more shout out to Little Free Libraries, as I found this book in one. I’d never heard of it and it was never on my ‘to read’ list, and that’s a pity because….it’s totally my kind of book! This is a memoir by the Haitian-American political activist and commentator (who also happens to be a lesbian). It’s never boring. I think what I was struck most by this book is the fact that Jean-Pierre‘s childhood was not exactly terrible but she did face a ton of difficulties and challenges. She always struggles and fights back. She talks about hitting her 20s and having no idea what to do in life, but falling into politics after completing her Master’s. She has run political campaigns, led activist groups like Wal-Mart Watch, worked with the ACLU, worked in the Obama and Biden White Houses, and has been a commentator on CNN and MSNBC. (And on Fox. She said they are desperate for Democrats and she doesn’t mind going in there as the lone Democrat on occasion. She also said their people put way way more makeup on her than CNN and MSNBC’s people – but they don’t touch her hair as they have no idea what to do with Black hair). I can never pinpoint what makes a memoir “great” but this one had everything I wanted: someone who has led a kinda-remarkable life, really, and just laying it all out there. Grade: 8

I swear I did not plan the fact that the first two books start with a number and then “steps”.

Ten Steps to Nanette by Hannah Gadsby – A memoir by the creator of the Netflix smash Nanette. If you don’t know Hannah Gadsby, I can tell you that she is fat, lesbian, and autistic. She’s brilliant and funny and incisive and pissed off. Her Netflix special is everything – and this book is wonderful too. Grade; 8

12 Steps To A Sharper You by Sanjay Gupta – This is a short, easy read and it’s exactly what the title says. The author-doctor has the research to back up his recommendations, and nearly everyone can do them. He breaks them down into easy steps. It’s not all nutrition and exercise either; there are things like make contact with an old friend or ask yourself some reflective questions or listen to more music you love. I appreciate that Gupta makes it clear that genetics are not the major factor in your quality of life. Funny note: I actually read most of it while hooked to an IV, after the nurse had seen me and while waiting for the doctor for my colonoscopy (LOL) Grade: 8

A Boy and His Dog at the End of the World by C. A. Fletcher – A post-apocalyptic novel. In this scenario, humanity has been through what is called “the gelding”, where drastically fewer and fewer babies are born. When our narrator Grizz comes of age, the world’s population has already plummeted. Grizz and his family live on an island off of what used to be the UK. They occasionally trade with another family who lives on another island, but as Grizz tells us, during his entire life, he’s never met enough people to comprise even 1 football team. Then a stranger sails up to their island and Grizz’s whole life changes. I have just two complaints about the novel. One, stop the foreshadowing!! Over and over, dozens of times, the narrator tells you what is coming. Two, as much as I loved the setup, the pacing is a bit off at times; there were whole days when I just read two or three pages and wasn’t compelled to do more. But. The author really turns the pacing around and manages to pick things up. There were some very well-done plot twists and turns, and the last 100 pages are enthralling. It left me craving more fiction. Grade: 8

I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness by Claire Vaye Watkins – A few tidbits off the top. This is a work of fiction but the protagonist has the same name as the author and Wikipedia confirms that the outlines of these two women’s lives are very similar. Also, this is the same author who wrote “Gold Fame Citrus”. So, about this book? God this novel is kinda a mess like its main character but I couldn’t put it down either. The way Watkins writes, the way she describes things, I can’t even. (Was thinking I should try to pull out a few examples of her words, like when Claire says she is doing “rich bitch yoga in a strip mall” or that someone is wearing “a very sincere caftan” but a couple of phrases just won’t do it justice). Anyway, the book is about a woman who has recently given birth, is in the throes of perhaps post-partum depression, perhaps PTSD from having lost both her parents, perhaps ADD, perhaps addiction, and I’m not sure what else. She’s also a creative genius who has a lofty academic job and travels to give speeches and workshops, you know jobs most writers would kill for, all the while being utterly out of fucks to give about any of it. While I have sympathy for her given all she’s been through, it needs to be said that Claire’s a total dick. This novel is….an experience. Grade: 7

Unbound by Tarana Burke – Memoir by one of the founders of the #MeToo movement. Y’all know I read a lot of memoirs. I’m a bit stumped about what to say on this one other than that it’s alright and Burke has certainly accomplished a lot in her lifetime but the book lacked whatever the ingredient is that makes a memoir really compelling. There was just nothing making me want to keep coming back and turning the pages. (I really need to do some more reflection when I compare this book to the previous one. Both authors had really difficult circumstances in life. The fictional character based on Claire Vaye Watkins is an asshole, though she sure spins a good tale. Tarana Burke seems to have taken the challenges of racism and sexism and fought like hell to make the world a better place, though she’s not the storyteller than Watkins is. Watkins wrote a better book but Burke is a better person, I think?). Grade: 5

Lots of memoirs. Lots and lots of memoirs, three of which are written by dudes, and a fourth written by someone who uses he/they pronouns.

You Gotta Be You by Brandon Kyle Goodman – This was a nice, “light” memoir about a Black, nonbinary person and their journey to acceptance, along with a lot of good wisdom and encouragement for readers. Grade: 7

One Jump At A Time by Nathan Chen – A memoir by the Olympic Champion figure skater. And before beginning this, I digress. Fandom is such a weird thing. I spent 1994-1998 obsessed with a pair of Russian figure skaters. When they became Olympic Champions in 1998, I thought I might remain a fangirl (of them and of figure skating in general) but oddly I just kinda lost interest. Always thought I’d go back to it someday. Never did. Part of that was because I didn’t have TV for a long time, and VCRs stopped being a thing, so it’s not like I could record skating competitions and rewatch them like I used to. So it was funny reading Chen’s memoir. I’d been away from this fandom for like a quarter of a century. Some of the names of coaches and choreographers were names I knew, others weren’t. So much had changed about the sport. Anyway, this book is a pretty easy and nice read. I wanted a bit more personal stuff from Chen but he does talk about anxiety, injuries, fear of COVID, and having to set boundaries with his mom. He was rightfully very concerned with COVID and even wore a mask when he slept, at the 2022 Olympics! One of his teammates got COVID and had to withdraw; I know that’s devastating since you don’t get another shot at an Olympic medal for four more years, which is longer than many skaters’ careers. Grade: 7

Miss Memory Lane by Colton Haynes – I watched all seven seasons of “Arrow” though I never got remotely fannish about it. This is a memoir by one of its stars, who portrayed Roy, AKA the Red Arrow. And yep, I was drawn to read it largely because Haynes is gay. I can’t even begin to go over everything that has happened in his life, but he grew up without much family stability, got into all sorts of trouble, left Kansas (literally!) to become a model and actor, was on Teen Wolf and then Arrow (the latter of which he tells us he left because he couldn’t stand a costar but doesn’t say who), had some issues with depression and substances, got married (to a man) and divorced (and per their settlement, he can’t discuss it publically), he came out publically and saw his endorsements and career drying up, and had to face the death of his mother. (And he’s still like only 35). Well, the book is never remotely boring! Grade: 7

The Island of Sea Women by Lisa See – Historical fiction. On a Korean island, there is a tradition of female divers and a somewhat matrifocal society. This novel is set within that, and it largely focuses on friendship and betrayal. I listened to it on audio and it was good enough, though at times it felt more like a nonfiction work about the “sea women” rather than a story with a compelling plot. I guess I wanted a more intriguing plot and less on the day to day lives on this island. Grade: 6

Work With What You Got by Zion Clark – A memoir by a young man who was born without legs and who languished in the foster care system. He experienced various forms of abuse, sometimes by white families in which he was the only Black child. But Clark finds his passion in sports, first in wrestling and then wheelchair racing. It’s a good memoir but it sure is infuriating to think of kids who are trapped in bad foster families with no good way out. Grade: 6

They’re Going to Love You by Meg Howrey – This is quite a lyrical, wonderful novel. The protagonist Carlisle is estranged from her father and has barely spoken to him in 20 years. He’s dying now. Her relationship with her dad has always been intricate; she’s always sought his love and the love of her dad’s husband, James. They loved her back but in something of a restrained way. Both are part of the ballet world, and Carlisle herself used to dance though she was too tall to make a career of it. Anyway, the book kept me interested though at times I wish the pacing had been a bit faster. But it’s really well written. Grade: 7

One Day, All Children….by Wendy Kopp – The author is the founder of Teach for America. This book was addictive. It is the story of how she started the organization. She dreamed it up when she was a senior at Princeton in 1989 and she spent every waking moment making it happen. She had to constantly stump for funding. Kopp has some hilarious and harrowing stories. At one point, she tried to only sleep every other night since she just doesn’t have time. I loved the part where she described a typical week, full of trips to meet with potential funders. Kopp is clear that she’s an introvert, and that this was a lot for a 22 year old straight out of college. I am in awe of her and her teammates and the people who signed up to Teach for America. I also appreciate how Kopp just made this book into a page-turner. And of course when I finished the book, I was glad to google it and see that Teach for America is still going strong (this book was published more than 20 years ago, so I wasn’t sure). Grade: 8

Afterland by Lauren Beukes – In this post-apocalyptic story, a virus has killed off most of the male population. The protagonist Cole has escaped with her 12 year old son Miles from a facility where he is being studied, but Cole’s money-grubbing, ethics-less sister Billie is hot on their trail. In this world, Miles is a very hot commodity, since people want to use, abuse, and study any male who is left. Here is one book where every aspect of the post-apo world is well planned and utterly believable. The details and examples are imaginative and spot-on and gobsmacking. I absolutely loved it. Like this is truly what the world might look like if most men were gone. The plot is gripping and harrowing – at times I had to put the book aside since I was so worried about Cole and Miles. Billie was maybe too much like a one-dimensional villain, but then again, there are plenty of people in this world who will do anything for money and justify all their sins inside their own minds. No spoilers but – brilliant ending! Grade: 8

Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan – This is more of a novella than a novel, but it’s wonderful. Its cover tells of all the awards it won, and deservedly so. It’s a seemingly-simple tale at first, of an Irishman named Furlong, a family man, who is generally grateful for the ‘little’ things in life. He encounters something unspeakable at the local convent, and he must make a decision that could change his life. Grade: 8

Into The Abyss by Carol Shaben – This is the true story of a small plane in Canada that went down in 1984. Four men survived the crash. The front cover tells us that one was a cop, and another was the criminal he was shackled to. But the book makes it clear that the two men were not shackled together at the time the plane went down. (Can we get some truth in advertising please??) At times the book – which is written by the daughter of one of the survivors – gets bogged down in too much detail though I loved that because of the passage of time since the accident, we hear what happens to each man years later. I’d say the most interesting aspect is that the “criminal” acts very heroically from the moment the plane goes down, and is treated well by society afterwards, but sadly he falls back into substance abuse and dies (years after the crash) due to exposure. Grade: 5

Fat Girls Hiking by Summer Michaud-Skog - I love a good how-to book. And it’s even better when the book is written with an awareness of prejudice and discrimination. So this book was written to help give fat girls the confidence to go hiking. The author has formed groups and traveled the country to that end. Like I mentioned, she is also very aware of racism and other forms of discrimination – she did a very good job ensuring the book is NOT just “fat white straight girls” hiking. Also, the book is full of breathtaking pics. Makes me want to get out and hike right now! Grade: 8

The Prettiest Star by Carter Sickels – A novel, taking place in the 1980s, which is told in first-person by three characters: Brian who is gay, has AIDS, and has returned home to Ohio to be taken in by his parents; his young sister Jess who doesn’t know that Brian is gay and has AIDS; and their mother Sharon who is torn between loving her son and being mortified. Definitely the story hit home for me. I remember what it was like to be gay back then, the way everyone hated on queers but no one really discussed it (at least not in any sort of meaningful way). The story is compelling as it moves towards its inevitable conclusion. My major complaint is that the section narrated by the teenage sister Jess just didn’t ring true for me at all. Jess is not a poet or writer and yet she uses phrases like “nervous as hens” (to describe her friends when a hot guy is around) and “loaves of uncooked dough” (to describe her thighs as she is “overweight”), and so on. I was a teenage girl in the 80s, one who liked to write, and nobody wrote or thought like this, come on! Still, a good book overall. Grade: 7

Sex Cult Nun by Faith Jones – I really wanted to read a book that hooked me, that forced me to keep picking it up when I should be working instead. This is that book. The author was born and raised into The Family (AKA The Children of God), a patriarchal cult. Several others have written about them; Rose McGowan was born into them as well (and I remember reading her memoir a few years ago). Some of the examples Jones gives are harrowing, and I won’t even try to recount them all. But a few: children having nightly inspections to ensure they have no underwear on since their cult leader believes everyone has to air out their privates, children being forced to give hand jobs to adults. You know, I am going to stop – this is so horrid and there’s no point to giving any more examples here. Putting aside the disgusting details, this book is totally absorbing. (I guess I can say one positive thing for the cult. Apparently when the author was about 10 years old, the cult surveyed its members and found that the female adults were now all traumatized from having been forced into sex when they were kids, so the cult raised the age of consent. It’s still gross though). It was great reading how Jones breaks free. Grade: 9

A Waiter in Paris by Edward Chisholm – In the economic downturn of 2008, the author is an Englishman living in Paris, desperately trying to find a way to make a living. You might think getting a job as a waiter is not so hard, but it is. It’s a very competitive endeavor in Paris, and the pay sucks and the hours are long. In fact, I guess I’d hoped that Western Europe wouldn’t be as terrible to its service workers as the US is, but unfortunately it seems to be just as bad, based on this book. Its subtitle is “adventures in the dark heart of the city”. Several times I wondered why I was reading this; the book is nearly 400 pages – big pages with small font! – and I can’t say it’s a thriller like the above book. But the author provides just enough good anecdotes to keep me reading. Though I must point out that he is utterly without the social awareness of the author of the first book on this report. Grade: 5

Believe in People by Charles Koch with Brian Hooks – It’s easy to get cynical. But this book asks that we don’t, and it provides lots of reasons why. It’s a good book. It starts with the author talking about his life, inheriting a large company when he’s in his twenties and spending decades trying to do right by his employees, his community, and the world. He then talks about how often the best solutions to societal problems often come from the ground up, and as always he gives many inspiring examples. The author also made an admirable attempt to – despite being an old straight white dude with money – to bring in lots of voices of people different than he. Grade: 7

The Natural Mother of the Child by Krys Malcolm Belc – The subtitle is ‘a memoir of nonbinary parenting’. It’s delivered in short, easy to read essays. Belc’s a fine writer and I liked reading what he had to say, but the book isn’t a stunner either. Grade: 6

Factfulness: Ten Reasons We're Wrong About the World--and Why Things Are Better Than You Think Hardcover by Hans Rosling with Anna Rosling Rönnlund and Ola Rosling - The book is just what its title suggests. Wow! Prepare to have your worldview challenged with the power of data and facts, accompanied by useful anecdotes. This book was so good that I can’t do it justice so I’ll just try to hit a highlight or two. Most of us when surveyed believe that the world is far worse off than it actually is, whether it comes to poverty or girls’ education or a host of other issues. Being unaware of the facts renders us way less effective when we want to deal with a situation. (Quick side note on how this book helped me. I’m fandom friends with someone who I’ll refer to as K. We like each other, she has a conservative streak but she’s not some crazy MAGA. I made a remark on the Discord about Europeans having better healthcare, K pushed back saying she’s lived in the Netherlands and seen her friends unable to get basic preventive care. I listened to her and I also wrote words to the effect of ‘let’s look at the facts and data’, and indeed they showed that on almost every measure, Europeans have better healthcare than the US. It sounds obvious but being fresh off the approach of this book helped me react in a positive way, and K seemed to listen to what I had to say). Grade: 9

Growing Up Shaker by Sister Frances A. Carr – Got this memoir from a Little Free Library. The author was raised by the Shakers in the 1930s; apparently they functioned as something of an orphanage and foster home for decades. Carr never shares why her mother placed her and several siblings with the Shakers, but this book covers daily life with the religious group. There is prayer and school and structure and farmwork and sewing. When she comes of age, the author decides to join the Shakers, though interestingly none of her siblings do. I know that it doesn’t make sense to yearn for the past. Maybe we would be better off with less time spent staring at screens when the “fun and exciting” things were picnics or trips to a movie, but let’s never pretend that life 100 years ago was perfect either. In any case, I enjoyed reading this account and it wasn’t boring. Grade: 6

Trashlands by Alison Stine – A post-apocalyptic novel, along the lines of “Station Eleven”. (It probably isn’t fair to keep comparing stuff to Station Eleven and I should stop. I guess I use it to say that the story had emotion and heart to it; it wasn’t just “omg look how bad it is!”) After several global weather disasters and general societal collapse, the people who live in what used to be called Appalachia scrape together a living by scavenging plastic. They try to avoid having their children taken from them to work in plastic-sorting factories or falling into the clutches of men who collect women. The novel follows a small group of characters, mainly a woman named Coral who has lost her son to the factories. The story worked on every level. It was realistic, it had depth, and it made me feel things. Nearly got teary at the end and at how well it all came to fruition. Grade: 8

Without You by Anthony Rapp – A memoir by the actor who was one of the original cast members in Rent and plays Stamets in Star Trek Discovery. It was published about 20 years ago, and it focuses mostly on Rent, Rapp coming out to his mother, and his relationships. Loved the tidbits about the acting business. (He had a small role in a movie called Twister. He spent 3 months on location in Oklahoma but only spent 5 days in front of a camera. It wasn’t fulfilling he said, but he did need the money). I appreciated the way he gently pushed his mom to talk about her feelings about his sexual orientation. (Let’s admit that in my family, we just ignore stuff and don’t talk about it). Full disclosure: I skimmed a lot of this book though. Many segments drag quite a bit. The parts I liked were good, but there was a lot of “meh” in here. Grade: 5

EDIT - I have no idea why some of the author's names link out to Amazon and I'm not even gonna try to fix it

Took me a while to read five more books, but in my defense, I did write and post 4 fanfics in a period of 14 days.

All In by Billie Jean King – A 420 page memoir by a tennis champion, while I have no interest in tennis? Ugh. But….I couldn’t put it down. Like seriously, I was captivated. I should back up a bit. When I was growing up, I vaguely heard of Billie Jean King. I knew that she defeated a sexist guy in some “battle of the sexes” tennis match, that she fought for women's rights and she was maybe lesbian or bi? (I was never sure, growing up, on that last part. The general topic wasn’t discussed much in my orbit). In addition to being a tennis champ and fighting for women's rights, King also had to deal with an ex outing her. She’s spent the past few decades working for human rights. Her story was never the least bit boring even if you hate tennis. Grade: 8

Old Friend From Far Away by Natalie Goldberg – The author has written a number of “how to” books on the craft of writing, and she also teaches writing workshops. Sometimes in the past I complained that some of her books were more like snapshots of her life with a few dashes of writing advice. This one, though, is really really solid. It’s geared towards the art of writing a memoir, and her words practically jump off the page. (Ew. That’s a cliché. Trust me that Goldberg’s writing, unlike mine, is fresh and innovative and absent a single cliche). I think this is one of her best books. Even if you’re writing fanfic instead of memoir. Grade: 8

How We Disappeared by Jing-Jing Lee – This is a novel with three main strands to it. There’s the story of Wang Di, a young girl in 1940s Singapore when Japan takes over, there’s Wang Di as an old woman dealing with the loss of her husband, and there’s the story of a teenage boy named Kevin who learns a secret about his family. Only the first storyline was interesting, and the others were a bit of a slog to get through. There’s some beautiful prose in here though, replete with striking metaphors. I need to step up my game in my own writing! Grade: 5

Revolution: The Year I Fell In Love and Went to Join the Revolution by Deb Olin Unferth – Damn, this memoir is impressive! As the title implies, the author headed off to Latin America in the late 1980s as several of its countries went through – or almost went through – Communist revolutions. Unferth is about 19 years old, following her political, idealistic boyfriend as they seriously try to “join the revolution”, and both are utterly clueless. It’s a completely hilarious read. And it’s so well-written. Unferth never loses her sense of humor in recounting her foibles, and I LOLed a few times. Grade: 8

Over the Edge by Greg Child – This was a page-turning account about four American mountain climbers who were kidnapped in 2000 by terrorists in Kyrgystan. (I double checked the spelling but spell-checker still flags it. Come on, it’s a country in Central Asia!) I read the book in two days as I had to know what happened next, and of course then I went to Wikipedia when the book was finished for any follow-ups. One sexist downside. The author of the book – who is not one of the climbers – makes a weird off-hand comment about the “beautiful Eurasian women” in a nearby city. Sorry what does have to do with like anything?? Grade: 7

All This Could Be Different by Sarah Thankham Mathews – I am always so glad when I read a novel that takes place in current times and that I love. I lean so heavily towards historical fiction that when I read something like this one, I want to shout ‘Yes! A contemporary novel and I loved it!’ This one tells the story of Sneha. She’s the daughter of immigrants, she’s trying to get work during the 2008 recession, she knows she’s lesbian but she doesn’t want to break her parents’ hearts by telling them, she is trying to build a community of friends but the past haunts her. She falls hard for a dancer but doesn’t know how to be with her. Everything came together really well here – the characters, the writing, and the pacing. The author and the book places a special value on friendship, and the friendships here are vivid, flawed, and important. Grade: 8

Blow Your House Down by Gina Frangello – A very personal memoir. The author went through so much, and she writes of it all brilliantly. I love that she just opens her heart and opens her life. I won’t go into detail about what she writes of, but it did involve the ending of a 23-year marriage. I was struck by the part where she writes that she gradually realizes that if she’d met him today, she wouldn’t even go on a date with him, let alone want to be married to him. (I was so glad that that is NOT how I feel about my spouse!) Grade: 8

The Delivery by Peter Mendelsund – This is an unusual novel taking place in modern times. The main character is “the delivery boy”, an unnamed lead who fled an unnamed country where he ekes out a living in another unnamed country. I give it credit for innovation but I can’t say I was ever captivated. Grade: 4

Reality is Broken by Jane McGonigal – Ah, this writer is so good! She’s written an older book about how inventing a game helped her recover from a concussion and the depression that came with it, and she’s written a newer book about how we can imagine the future and then better deal with what might happen. This book was published in between the aforementioned two books. This writer is just such a good thinker, and her ideas are practical and easy to act on! She writes about games. How games can be a good force in the world that bring out our sense of cooperation and creativity, and how we can use game design principles in everything from education to solving crises like running out of oil. And McGonigal is always completely readable too, and she’s a smart and grounded optimist. Grade: 8

Taking Down Backpage by Maggy Krell – This is a concise book by the lead attorney who brought down Backpage. Ugh, what can I say about Backpage. Its creators and owners made millions in sex trafficking of children. They knew fully what they were doing, it made them rich, and I wish a thousand painful deaths on them. In a perfect world, bringing down these assholes should’ve been easy but of course it wasn’t. This book reads almost like a thriller at times. It took Maggy Krell and a committed team working together in a herculean effort, but they finally brought them to justice. I also appreciated that Krell is grounded in social justice and always takes the time to consider other perspectives, while holding fast to the truth that adults buying minors for sex is illegal and immoral (even though the defendants in this case tried to frame this as ‘big bad government making me take down my website’). Grade: 8 (Like I said, I sure appreciate that the author kept this book brisk-paced and didn’t weigh it down in legal jargon and lengthy court transcripts.)

I must be on a roll. Despite writing a ton of fanfic, I also have enough books for a report.

The Lightest Object in the Universe by Kimi Eisele – I wanted to start out by saying something like “this was a nice read”, but “nice” is an odd adjective for a story that takes place post-apocalypse. But maybe it fits anyway? In this novel, things have fallen apart in the not-to distant future. Beatrix and Carson love each other but they live on opposite ends of what was the US, and there are no more planes or busses to get you from one coast to the other. There’s no way to communicate either. Meanwhile a charismatic preacher has a functioning radio station that is broadcasting to anyone who can pick it up and encouraging people to join his group. I love that the book shows a vision of a post-industrial world that is mostly not too bad, though it’s realistic enough that it’s not like everyone is walking on sunshine all day either. This novel was been compared to “Station Eleven”; I’d say it’s not quite as monumental as Station Eleven but still really good. Grade: 7

Difficult Conversations by Stone, Patton, and Heen – This book tells you everything you need to know to prepare for and work through difficult conversations. There are tons of scenarios and examples. I’m keeping this book so I can use it when needed. One passage that really stood out for me: “You can't move the conversation in a more positive direction until the other person feels heard and understood. And they won't feel heard and understood until you've listened. If the other person becomes highly emotional, listen, and acknowledge. When they say their version of the story is the only one that makes sense, paraphrase what you're hearing and ask them some questions about why they think this. If they level accusations against you, before defending yourself, try to understand their view.” Grade: 8

I Promise Not to Suffer by Gail D. Storey – A memoir of a woman who hiked (part of) the Pacific Coast Trail with her husband. Yep, I do love reading about folks who make treks like this. The author intersperses her tale with bits about her marriage and her family life. It was…okay. It kept me company on a flight but was nothing special. Grade: 6

Home, Land, Security by Carla Power – A journalist looks at why people join groups like ISIS, and what can be done to rehabilitate them. It’s hard to make this topic super-engaging (admit it – when most Americans hear “the Middle East”, they instantly scroll on by), but the book is really worth a read and it’s not painful at all. There are so many compelling stories in here, like the young woman in Indonesia who comes from a wealthy family and is generally happy in life. She gets radicalized online and convinces two dozen of her family members to trek with her to Syria. As you can guess, they get there and see that it’s not the paradise they were promised. They were told there’d be free healthcare, and any man who didn’t want to go into combat could do other jobs. All lies, of course – and everyone they meet there is angry and unpleasant. So the two dozen family members soon must find a way to get smuggled back out of Syria. Carla Powers searches for some good deradicalization approaches and finds a few, but none are easy. Denmark and Germany seem to have the best bets. (The US? No need to write it. Our approach sucks). I would’ve loved to have read more about approaches to dealing with right-wing terrorists, who the author admits are more of a threat than Islamic ones, but that is just not the focus of this book. Grade: 7

Outlawed by Anna North – This is a book of historical fiction, though the historical part also has some fantasy to it. The setting is the American “Old West” but a flu has killed off much of the population, and “barren” women are even more hated and ostracized than in actual history. The main character, Ada, is cast out when she fails to become pregnant and when a few babies in her village die. She finds a band of outlaws, mostly women and a few nonbinary folks who are outcasts as she is. They try to make their own community. Just from the preceding sentences, this novel should’ve been awesome. And at times it was. But the pacing was uneven, because at other times the book is a bit of a slog. I’d still say worth reading though. Grade: 6

Also, adding on one book that I skimmed through…

Be An Outrageous Older Woman by Ruth H Jacobs – I got this book from a Little Free Library, and it was first published in 1993. I paged through it; didn’t read all of it. You know what? I think I love books that were written pre-internet. To state the obvious, what an earth-shatterer the internet was! In any case, I think the best way to approach this book is to think of it as if it’s written by your quirky, wise, fun, weird Aunt. She’s giving you tips and ideas from her own life; some of them land, some don’t. The main theme is to enjoy your old age and learn how to advocate for yourself and others. I really loved the sections on how to find more meaningful things to do, and how to make new friends. Those themes are timeless, internet or no. There’s also a decent section on sexuality. This was a fun book to skim. (Side note about the book having been published in 1993. Growing older is so weird. Like I remember a ton about 1993, remember it like it was yesterday. But it was already 30 years ago. Sometimes my head explodes a bit if I dwell on this stuff).

Seeking Peace by Mary Pipher – This is the second book I’ve read by Mary Pipher and I guess I have to say that I really enjoy her writing. Somehow the book is comforting and relatable and insightful and intriguing. This is Pipher’s memoir, and with the way she writes, there’s never a dull spot. The part I found most interesting and useful happens when she is about 40. Her life is generally quite happy and then she writes a best-seller, and her life changes: she hits the road to promote it, and she writes several more books, some of which also become best-sellers, some of which do not. She didn’t love life on the road, and in fact all the travel led her to something of a breakdown. I totally, totally related to what she wrote about even though I’ve never traveled as much as she did. But she captures just the mix of melancholy and irritation being on the road entails: you’re away from home, the hotel room is too hot or too cold, the flight is delayed, your muscles are aching. Pipher understands that compared to the suffering of many people on this planet, this stuff is small – and yet it’s disquieting to experience too, especially when one already has a life and community at home that one loves. (She has also experienced some truly horrible – in my estimation - stuff during her travels too such as being trapped in an elevator for five hours (!!!) and a taxi driver who was clearly on drugs and nearly got them both killed). Pipher eventually has something of a breakdown and she has to build herself back up, learning to take care of herself and letting others do so too. Like I said, her story both interesting and useful. My only complaint about the book is its last two chapters: they read like one of my DW posts. (LOL) I love the author and I’m glad she is enjoying life and focusing on gratitude, but yeah – the last two chapters with their long descriptions of good times with her family and friends really needed to be edited down or out. Grade: 7

Everything I Have Is Yours by Eleanor Henderson – Two memoirs in a row, and this one even more remarkable than the previous. Henderson marries young, and her husband soon seems to undergo all sorts of problems: mental health issues, substance abuse, and myriad physical problems that doctors can’t seem to diagnose or treat. This book could have been a slog but instead it’s 400 pages of “can’t put it down, what the hell happens next??” As the reviews on the back say, it’s candid and it’s raw, and you get a peek behind the curtain of someone’s marriage. And as another reviewer says “I dare you to put it down.” I need to add that I began reading a paper copy of the book from the library. The next day I went to the office, and it was not a busy day and I had about 90 minutes free in between meetings. I couldn’t help it. I reached for my library’s e-reader app on my phone, saw that the book was available for download, nearly yelped with happiness, and I finished reading it on my phone. I literally never do that. I should add that one complaint I do have is that I wish the author had told her story chronologically, instead of skipping around in time; that normally drives me crazy, but still this memoir is incredible. Grade: 8

And….a third memoir. I can’t help it. You know, I think my two favorite types of books are memoirs and fiction, but I seem to find way way way more memoirs I love than fiction I love! Thus my book reports are often filled with great memoirs.

This Body I Wore by Diana Goetsch – This is a beautifully-written and absorbing memoir by a trans woman. I just loved hearing about her life. Goetsch starts out with snippets from her adulthood in the 80s when she identifies as a cross-dressing man instead of a trans woman. She then takes us back in time to her upbringing with parents who are unloving and neglectful. We then journey with her to present day as she comes out, transitions, and searches for love and acceptance. All of it was worth a read, every NYC club she visited in the 80s seeking community, every ‘failed’ romance, the mentor who utters an anti-trans remark unaware that Goetsch is trans. The author is a bit bitter at times and that can make for a rough read at times, but it’s understandable. Still this is an incredible memoir that I polished off in just a couple days. Grade: 8

Five Little Indians by Michelle Good – A novel taking place circa the 1960s and in flashbacks, about five indigenous people who were forced, as children, into Christian boarding schools where they were abused and neglected. It opens with one of them running away from the horrific place, and it goes on to tell the intertwined stories of these five survivors. The writing is amateurish (with misplaced modifiers and just basic level writing), the dialog is cringe, and the plot is predictable and repetitive (a survivor blows their gasket and beats up their jerk boss, even though that just happened with another survivor in the previous chapter. Then it happens AGAIN with another survivor beating up a different jerk. These survivors are tough!) Great concept for a novel but it needed to be written by a more skilled writer. This felt like something I could have written. Grade: 2

Blood Orange Night by Melissa Bond – I have so much to say about this book! Well, let me start with the basics. It’s a memoir about a woman who struggled through her pregnancies, had serious insomnia, was prescribed benzos (AKA benzodiazepines like Ativan and Xanax) and goes through absolute hell to kick her addiction to them. She emphasizes that it is a physical addiction – benzos rewire your brain. It’s not like she craved them; she was unable to function without them. And doctors in the US give them out like candy. Horrifying. (Lots of celebs, like Justin Bieber as one example, have suffered under these drugs). And since in the US we don’t bother to regulate the drug industry, we get lots of addicts.

So here’s what I wanted say about this memoir. First, it’s readable and engrossing though I had to skim over some of the parts about insomnia.

But there are two things I really want to say. One: I can’t help but to compare it to “Everything I Have Is Yours”, above. In the former, the husband is very ill and the wife stands by his side through thick and thin, basically making it her full time job to keep him alive at the expense of – well – basically her own life. In “Blood Orange Night”, hubby begins to withdraw as soon as the wife (the author) is ill. He goes away on a vacation with the boys, confesses he “misbehaved”, doesn’t apologize, doesn’t ask her if her insomnia is any better. He’s like that the minute she starts to go down hill. The man does the bare minimum as his wife becomes addicted and then goes through a hellish, two-year recovery. Two books do not equal “men bad/women good” but plenty of evidence shows that this is how the dynamic usually plays out. If you are a sick heterosexual who is married, pray you are married to a woman and not a man. I wish men would do better, but I’ve been saying that for 49 years and it never changes.

Secondly, wow….I dodged a bullet! The author could’ve been me, and it very nearly was. Here’s a bit about my story. In the 90s, I was in my early 20s and I hit a very minor rough patch. Had a few panicky days, had some minor anxiety and sleeping probs. In retrospect, it was all so minor. A doctor put me on Xanax. To her credit, she put me on the lowest dose. BUT SHE NEVER TOLD ME YOU SHOULDN’T TAKE IT FOR MORE THAN A WEEK OR TWO!! I don’t recall how long I was on it, but honestly I think it was at least a year. My dose was upped once. I do remember reaching a point where I decided to break the pills in half and slowly wean myself off it. And I did. I truly have no clue how or why I didn’t get addicted. Maybe the low dose saved me? (The author of this book was on Ativan and a very high dose. Getting off of it nearly kills her. She and hubby do get divorced, her kids seem ok, but she nearly died). Damn. This could’ve been me.

Grade: 8 (Grade for husbands who don’t care for their wives is 0).

In Love by Amy Bloom – I’d been wanting to read this ever since I heard of it, the memoir by the well-known novelist. (One of her novels was on my “best of 2022” list, though I am laughing as I write those words, as if anyone would care about a “best of” list written by me, lol rotfl). Bloom’s husband had early-onset Alzheimer’s, and they fly to Zurich for what is basically doctor-assisted suicide. I make it sound so easy but the whole process was enormously difficult, in all regards – but especially logistically and emotionally. Long story short, it is easier to get doctor-assisted suicide in Zurich than in the handful of US states that allow it, but it is still an extremely challenging process that requires you to marshal many professionals and do it all before the person in question is too far gone mentally. In any case, the book is not “just” about this though. It’s also a love story; Bloom and her husband met in middle-age. The book is about the little things that kept their relationship going, and then how horrible it was when the person she fell in love with began to fade away. (Even when he’s chatting about his life with a few people, days before his death, he doesn’t mention Amy Bloom or other things he loved like his architecture work). Just a brilliant memoir with the right amount of detail and backstory. Grade: 8

The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd – Ah, I so love a good work of historical fiction! In this story, Ana is a woman from a wealthy family living about 2,000 years ago in Galilee. She has to fight for her desire to be educated, to write, and to not be married to a man she loathes. And then she meets a carpenter from Nazareth named Jesus, and eventually they marry. Yes, THAT Jesus. Bold choice, Sue Monk Kidd. Bold choice. But it absolutely works and I was quite engrossed in this book. The author’s notes at the end are compelling too (the Bible never says that Jesus had a wife, but it never says he didn’t either. And for many reasons which Kidd lays out, it certainly was possible that he did). But putting the whole Jesus thing aside, this is a wonderful story of a woman fighting for what she wants and carving out a life for herself in a world that wants her to live a very narrow one. Grade: 8

Starving Season by Seang M Seng – This is a memoir by a survivor of the Khmer Rouge’s Killing Fields in the 1970s. Out of 24 members of his family, Seang Seng was the only one to survive. His account is crisp and tight, and of course heartbreaking. It’s scary too – the Khmer Rouge seemed to be, as Seng puts it, a bunch of “illiterates and sociopaths” bent only on killing and torturing everyone who wasn’t a member, and I think of some of the nutjobs with powerful roles in this country and what they’d do to the people they hate….yikes. All that is left for me to say is that when I read about things like what Seng went through, I wish I had a time machine and a magic wand. Grade: 8

Miles From Nowhere by Barbara Savage – First published in 1983 and recently re-released, this is an account of the trip that the author and her husband took around the world, on bikes in the 1970s. They do indeed make a circle around the globe though they entirely skip South America, and the only place in Africa they hit was the far-north end of the continent. About the book itself, it is written in an honest, unpretentious style and it’s unfailingly fascinating. It’s a long book and I finished it in like 2 days. We got just the right amount of detail and funny/weighty/scary anecdotes. (One month they are shooing mice off their faces at night as they battle dysentery in Egypt, not long afterwards they are marveling at the Himalayas). I do need to point out that a lot of the author’s comments are really borderline-ethnocentric. At times I believe she tried to be conscious of her privilege (white western woman traveling through countries that are brown and poor. Spending more money on this trip than many of these people will ever see in their lifetimes, as she points out), but still I hope that she (or an editor) would’ve thought twice about or reworded a few comments. The book was published in 1983, and I don’t think too many white westerners thought about this stuff then though. Also, I gotta mention this. The author died in 1983, after she knew this book would be published but before it hit the stands. There’s an interview with her husband in the afterward, and it mentions that he remarried in 1985. Am I a jerk to question the fact that he met and married someone circa two years after his wife died? Well, I guess he was lonely and I suppose you can’t ask someone to spend the rest of their life alone; and if I died, I’d sure want Doris to find someone else and be happy. But….two years?? Like, did he meet someone eight months after his wife died and they decided to tie the knot like a year later? Idk, leaves a bad taste… Grade: 8

The Town of Babylon by Alejandro Varela – I’m not sure what to make of this novel! Taking place in modern times, the book begins when its main character returns from NYC to his childhood home in the ‘burbs because his dad has taken ill. His relationship with his husband already on the rocks, he meets an old flame and he has a run-in with a guy who once bragged about beating a gay guy to death. The plot moves slowly, and I often don’t stick with novels that don’t have compelling plots. But something about this book was really good. The author or main character (who I suspect are one in the same) pepper the book with thoughts on race, community, inequality….just general life in the US today. And for some reason, those thoughts don’t weigh the book down – in fact they are one of the best things about it. IDK. The book was pretty good. Grade: 6

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