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So, let's say you get on a crowded train or bus, and you take a seat next to someone. As the train continues its journey, it gets un-crowded and empty seats become available; you could get up and move to one where you won't be sitting next to someone.

Is it okay to do that? I tend to stay where I am based on some strange belief that the person I'm sitting next to will be offended.

Date: 2012-08-10 11:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] denisia.livejournal.com
Yes. You always should feel free to move to a more comfortable seat when there is room. Everyone does it. And everyone likes more space when they travel so if the person is offended (rarely?) it is their thing, not your concern.

Honestly I would be more weirded out if I were sitting next to someone who did not move to a free seat when they could. I would wonder why they wanted to sit with me and I would move myself.

Date: 2012-08-10 11:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] denisia.livejournal.com
which isnt to say I thought the other person was weird, I just usually think "why...don't...they move? Fine, I will."

Date: 2012-08-10 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stormkpr.livejournal.com
This all totally makes sense. You know what I don't get though? This happened to me many times, including today. I didn't move because I had some strange idea of offending the woman. But she didn't move either. And every other time this has happened, neither I nor the other person has moved when seats opened up. (Which is kinda why I wondered if maybe there was some etiquette that said you shouldn't move).

Date: 2012-08-11 12:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] denisia.livejournal.com
It could be that they wanted the seat they had...like maybe they wanted *that* window...or they might have expected you to move, or they might have honestly not cared. I know some folks just don't mind either way, so they will sit regardless and won't move. And some might figure that the bus will fill up again anyway, and the person next to them is safer to keep as a seatmate.

There isn't any rule against moving, though. If you want to move, you move. On the subway in NYC and buses here, it is totally usual to see people relocate when they can have more space to themselves. It is not offensive at all so you shouldn't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings.

Date: 2012-08-11 10:35 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stormkpr.livejournal.com
It is very good to know that I can move and not have to worry about hurting someone's feelings. Thank you.

Date: 2012-08-12 10:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shar-bernadotte.livejournal.com
I suppose you could bid the person a nice day. Acknowledging their existence may lessen any feelings of contempt that may arise. But really, I prefer having a row or table to myself but I do worry about offending others. Although, unless I am actually talking to them I wouldn't worry too much.

Date: 2012-08-12 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] stormkpr.livejournal.com
I like that approach - unless I had been chatting with them, no reason to feel bad about moving.

Date: 2012-08-13 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shar-bernadotte.livejournal.com
I don't take public transportation much so I don't have that problem, for the most part. But if I have the option, I don't sit right next to an occupied table in a restaurant if there are empty tables else where. Now if I am at a bar, a pub or restaurant bar, I usually strike up conversation with the people around me but I won't sit right next to someone if there are empty seats further down. I just feel weird if someone does that to me, so I don't do it to them. *shrugs* But I usually don't move, occasionally I will but not usually.

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