I feel a bit like an idiot

[stormkeeper_lovedoris]

I'm not sure quite how I feel right now. I'm at a 4 day planning meeting with my department and - long story short - there are very icky group dynamics and I've never felt that I fit in too well with these folks. Today at dinner they asked me to join them afterwards at the bar, something that I never do because: 1) I'm not a drinker, hardly ever drink booze, and 2) the group dynamics are icky, like I said. I don't know why I agreed to join them at the bar; maybe it was because I was happy that they asked and deep down I do want to fit in.

So long story short, I joined them, drank too much, made somewhat of an ass of myself. Maybe not a total ass but a partial ass. Everyone was friendly and smiling but in my gut I don't feel this went well.

One of them did say that I was always welcome to join them and never had to drink booze, that I could just have water. That was nice.

Well, done is done. Hopefully my credibility isn't too shot with this group. And like I said, I never fit in that well to start with so...how much worse could it be?

I guess I'll see tomorrow.

Comments

[stormkpr.livejournal.com]

but i hung out with people from work at a bar that i was never all that fond of, and their attitude seemed to be that going out drinking with the group, regardless of the actual behavior there, was a big thumbs up kewlnesswise.

I'm kinda hoping that may be the case here. Not that I'm dying to be in the cool group -- won't happen here -- but hopefully the fact that I went at all will help.

As far as what I actually did, well I had a couple drinks, smiled and giggled a lot, and in general acted in ways that people act when they are very tipsy. Now that I've slept on it, I don't think I did anything too horrible but I definitely acted different than I usually do and much much sillier than usual. Hopefully yesterday wasn't career-damaging though I don't think it was career-helping either. On the other hand, maybe I will get points for hanging with the group for once instead of going back to my room as usual.

[nytshd3.livejournal.com]

thats it? i would say it would hurt your career if you took off your shirt and danced on the bar, or if you picked someone up and started making out with them, but if you were just tipsy and acting tipsy... you were out at a bar. just don't apologize about it cuz then it gives the impression that you did something wrong, and ya didnt. :)

[stormkpr.livejournal.com]

*nods* You're right. My behavior was goofy but I don't think it was so bad. This morning at the meeting, a few coworkers asked if I was ok, if I had a headache. But everyone was nice and about as cool as can be. So I'm fine.

[nytshd3.livejournal.com]

kewl beans :D

now whenever i get laid off and we have my leaving fs party you'll have to come to the bar n hang out n see what the non-corporate world is like when we go drinking together ;)